All American Scandals: Which Party Is More Fucked Up?
Editorial / Citations are Non-Fiction
It was a slow Saturday afternoon and I decided to watch college basketball at my favorite North Baldwin hideout and visit ‘G’. I’m always glad to see ‘G’ she always has a smile on her face and she generally keeps you joking.
That afternoon she had a couple of her regulars at the bar in a discussion over what political party has the ‘moral high ground’. I looked at these guys, Terry and Jerry both in their late 50’s, and just shook my head negatively.
"What’s your problem RJ? You don’t think the Republicans are more moral than the Democrats?" said Terry. I said, “to paraphrase a line from R. Lee Ermy that applies, ‘in the eyes of God they are all equally worthless' and politics is not a good subject for the barstool.’” Terry said, “the Democrats are deviate sex mongers who’ll fuck anything.” Jerry jumped in saying, “and the Republicans just do it with minors and in sex clubs, which makes it OK, huh?” About that time, Todd, a scholar and Professor of History at Adelphi University walked in, he is also one of ‘G’s regular patrons.
Todd always has his I-Pad and the bar being wifi enabled, gives Todd all the reason to come to the bar other than to see ‘G’. Terry and Jerry pleaded their cases to Todd who looked at them and asked, “there is a damn good ball game going on and you two clowns are arguing over something as stupid as this, both parties are totally without morals, they just put on a good masquerade and sling mud at each other.”
“We just gotta know what party is more scandalous as far as being sexual deviates” begged Terry attempting to justify his argument. Todd Said “Ok, I’ll give you a quick free history lesson and you figure it out”. So Todd went to his I-Pad and quickly brought up some info and then plugged a USB drive into the side. ‘G’ had his drink in front of him in the blink of an eye and the bar got quiet as Professor Todd started his history lesson:
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| Daniel Webster, a Representative from New Hampshire and a Representative and a Senator from Massachusetts; born in Salisbury, N.H., January 18, 1782 |
The score card from 1850 to 2001 for scandals goes like this: 21 scandals for the Democrats which includes one scandal that involves both a Democrat and a Republican and 11 for Republicans. What this doesn’t include is scandals from 2001 to 2012. There are scandals involving persons in the executive and judicial branches and very deviate behavior.”
‘G’ asks, “what about after 2001, what’s the score?” Professor Todd took a long sip from a cold glass Sam Adams from the tap and said, “eight of the last 11 scandals involved Republicans.” Jerry said, tell me about the big Republican scandals that you mentioned Todd”. Terry got argumentative, ‘G’ brought the place to order as new customers came in and listened in on Todd’s history lesson. ‘G’ said, “Go on Todd tell us about the big Republican scandal.”
Todd said, “The scandal under the Bush Sr., administration was broke by the Washington Post, it was a Homosexual Child Prostitution ring. It involved a lobbyist by the name of Craig J. Spence. When the investigation nailed down Spence and was going to make him talk he allegedly committed ‘suicide’. Details of the Spence suicide investigation were never released. But it did involve boys and administration officials. It was reported by KARLYN BARKER, WASHINGTON POST, JULY 24, 1990 .
“What about the Democrats and Clinton” cried Terry. Todd said, “OK, Clinton didn’t do any little boys but he had a few women according to credible sources.” “‘During the 1992 presidential primaries, former TV reporter Gennifer Flowers claimed she had a 12-year affair with candidate Bill Clinton. As President, he was accused of sexually harassing state worker Paula Jones. The Jones investigation ultimately revealed the President's relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky.’”
I asked Terry and Jerry “so what does all this prove?” Todd answered for them, “we are governed by a group of low life sexual deviates masquerading as decent citizens.” “Well what about now cried Terry, what about Obama?”
“No reports of sexual deviance so far on Obama” said Todd. “Mrs. Obama is built well and looks like she would beat the shit out of the President if he thought about stepping out.”
Terry said, “Come on, Muslims must have more than one woman on the side.” I said, “what the fuck does that mean?” Terry said, "RJ, Obama is a muslim, I heard it on Fox News." Professor Todd laughed and said “no Terry that’s all propaganda, the President was raised a Christian, baptized a Christian, and attends church as a Christian and has been a Christian ever since he was a child…what you heard was pure bullshit by hate inspired propagandists.”
I said, “you’re a good Christian, right Terry?” Terry said, “yeah, so?” I asked who was that young teeny bopper looking girl you were in here with last week? I met your wife and she wasn’t her.”
Terry got pissed and got up to get in my face and was restrained by other patrons as I said “calm down.” I said, “The point I’m making is before you start accusing the President, the Senator, the Governor, the Congressperson or the Lobbyists of moral failings look at yourself.”
Professor Todd said “if you want more information I can give you sources that you can ‘google’ or books to read that have credible source information.” Jerry again asked, so which party is the most “sexually deviant and/or perverted. ‘G’ said, “It looks like they are trying to out-do each other in this department too.” Professor Todd said, “where there is power there is corruption of all kinds, both parties are hopelessly sexually deviate and equally scandalous.”
Jerry asked, “Professor what is the most deviate sexual act by a politician that is on the record.” “It depends on your definition of deviate” said Professor Todd. “But I do have some examples that disturb me” said Todd. “Well, tell it” said Jerry. Before Professor Todd started he was bombarded with questions but got back to the subject after ‘G’ brought him another ice cold Sam Adams draught.
Professor Todd said, “Rep. Jon Hinson (R. Miss) stunned his constituents on August 8, 1980 by announcing that he had been accused of committing an obscene act in a gay bar in Virginia in 1976, and that in 1980 he had survived a fire in a gay movie theater in Washington. He said he was making these disclosures to clear his conscience. But he denied he was gay and refused to resign.
Three months later, Hinson was arrested in a restroom of a House office building for engaging in oral sodomy with a male employee of the Library of Congress. Hinson, a married man and "family values" conservative, resigned his seat on April 13, 1981. In July 1995, he died from AIDS.”
Jerry said, “oral sodomy, aint that….” “ass hole licking” said Terry.
Jerry and Terry finally agreed. “We need a third political party with regular folks in it and not wing nuts on the left or the right.” I thought about all that went on after I left the bar and a third party would be just as screwed up as the two we’re stuck with.
What’s got to change is America.
RJ
well, nothing like a photo of some salad tosser tossing salad to show how politics work. one day you'll get your salad tossed but good RJ
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