As we go and celebrate this wonderful excuse to watch parades and drink Guinness or drink Guinness and watch parades realize there are things to do and not to do on St. Patrick’s Day. First some St. Patrick’s Day facts
(I’m only listing a few because I don’t want to do a 20 page blog.)
(I’m only listing a few because I don’t want to do a 20 page blog.)
One Big Myth: St. Patrick was not Irish! His dad was Italian, his mother was Scottish and he was born in Scotland. His birth name was Maewyn Succat. Who knew? And the whole chasing snakes out of Ireland? Just a legend.
Raise Your Glass. On the average day, 5.5 million pints of Guinness are consumed around the world. That number more then doubles on St. Patrick's Day, with more than 13 million pints going down the hatch.
Keep you eye on the prize, and the leprechaun. Legend has it that if you catch a leprechaun, he will promise great wealth if you let him go. However, don't take your eyes off him or he will vanish!
Four leaf clovers -- for your eyes only. Found a four leaf clover? Great. You will now have good luck in gambling and racing and it will render witchcraft powerless! However, you must always carry it with you and never show it to others, or your luck will fail.
This is way worse than bad luck! Forget about bad luck. According to the Irish, if a black cat crosses your path in the moonlight, you will die in an epidemic. Yikes!
Get your green on! Consider yourself warned: if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day, people are allowed to pinch you. It was believed that wearing green made you invisible to leprechauns, who would pinch anyone they could see. Revelers began pinching those who didn’t wear green as a reminder of that belief.
Do not go out drinking without a designated driver, do not drink without eating first. Here is some more advise that would be considered common sense if you are stopped by the police on St. Patrick’s Day or St. Patrick’s Weekend.
Here is 35 things not to say to a cop if pulled over:
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy-from the Village People band?
4. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job.
5. I though you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
7. Bad cop, no donut.
8. You're not going to check the trunk are you?
9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?
11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.
12. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonalds?
13. I pay your salary.
14. So uh, you on the take or what?
15. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.
17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead they are.
18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained specialist.
19. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
20. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
21. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?
22. No, YOU assume the position.
23. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!
24. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
25. No, offi, offic, lucifer...I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
26. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.
27. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
28. But officer, I've got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick ONE!
29. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
30. On the way to the station, let's get a six pack, oh and don't forget the cigs.
31. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
32. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
33. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
34. So that's what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean?
35. What do you use those rubber gloves for anyway?
Remember to party responsibly and save stupid behavior, stupid thinking and stupid actions for any area that is injury free and away from law enforcement.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Weekend.
Citations:
http://www.mainstreet-data.com/dickens/35things.htm
there is nothing in this blog about hangover remedies. why?
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