Heartbreak and Misery (Part 1)

DRAMA

“Say what?  You have to be joking.”  N.F. said, “no joke, she shoved a black walnut in her pussy and cracked it.”  I said “I just had a visual involving a dick in a vice”…I cringed. 






It was a cool evening on the last days of winter, a starry night in the Hudson Valley as the looming shadows of the Shawangunk Mountains lent a velvet patch of black in the horizon along the skyline.  

It was the night of St. Patrick’s Day and the conversation by the bonfire in back of the barn was hotter than the heat coming from the shooting flames in the pit.

I said “let me get the story straight, Glenda, Lucky’s other daughter from his previous marriage to Meg, had a ‘coming out party’ with her longtime friend ‘Butchy’.  

The party got wild and she put on a show, and the black walnut trick was one of the attractions.”  N.F. took a long sip from his mug of cold brew and said, “yeah, that was one of many attractions, but the announcement she made about her future shook Lucky up pretty bad.”

I said “wait a minute, isn’t Glenda married to Hank, the guy in the Army who is deployed to Afghanistan?”  N.F. eased back in the wooden lawn chair and said, “yep, that’s him, some kind of high tech com specialist with really mad computer skills.”  I asked, “don’t he and Glenda have a daughter?”  

“Oh Yeah” barked N.F.  I asked “So what does her coming out mean for Hank?”  N.F. said “that was the announcement, she’s divorcing Hank, except Hank doesn’t know it and she’s not going to tell him until he comes home.” I asked, “why now?” N.F. picked up the pitcher of brew and poured himself another and topped me off putting a little more cold beer in my mug.  

N.F. said “Hank is so good at what he does the Army offered him a big bonus if he reenlisted…he did.  Hank got over 16 grand and according to Lucky, he is going to use the bonus money with what he saved to get a home for ‘his family’ when he gets back from Afghanistan.  The joke is going to be he aint got no family.” 

I said, “is that why she left him, because her re-upped?” “According to Lucky that was the last straw for Glenda” said N.F. as he peered through his night vision goggles into the woods. I said “this is going to be a shock to Hank, to lose your wife and kid and then to find out she left you for another woman, it’s just overwhelming.”  

N.F. took another long sip and said, “Not really RJ, you see according to Glenda, Hank always knew she was gay.”  I sat up as the fire snapped and the smoke rose and I said “that begs the question, why did they get married in the first place?”

N.F. said “Glenda has a great job working for some kind of Defense Contractor somewhere in PA.  She couldn’t get that job unless she was married and Hank is some kind of kin to the owners.  She’s been there for about three years now.”  I said, speculating “does she think she will keep that job when her boss finds out she divorced Hank?”  

“I don’t know” said N.F.  “But Glenda is a freak in so many weird ways it’s amazing her life turned out as good as it did until now” said N.F.  “Exactly what are you getting at N.F.?”  About that time Lucky showed up on his Harley.

Lucky stood around the fire and N.F. recounted what he told me to Lucky minus the ‘nut show’.  

Lucky said that all he ever wanted to do was get his kids old enough to fend for themselves and live the rest of his life happy with no strings attached, but he said, “that’s changed.”  Lucky said, “I think, I’m gonna help Hank keep his daughter Lucinda, or try to get custody of her myself.”  

I said speculatively, “I guess you don’t believe your daughter can raise Lucinda by herself?”  Lucky said, “I don’t want Lucinda to go through what Glenda’s mom put her through.” Lucky’s face was full of disgust.  N.F. said, “this is kind of heavy, we can talk about something else.” Lucky said “I need to get this off my chest”.  N.F. offered Lucky a beer and he turned it down.  

N.F. reached into the cooler next to his lawn chair and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels Old No.7 black label which had been on ice.  Then N.F. produced a cold mug pouring a good four fingers of Jack into Lucky’s mug.  Lucky had pulled up a lawn chair and sat down as N.F. brought him his drink.

Lucky took a sip and picked up where he left off… “when I divorced Meg, it was because of what she did to Glenda.  I got custody of the kids in the divorce and tried my best to make sure that Glenda had a normal girls life.  I slowly got her into being active in church and school as the counselor and the psychiatrist said, and everything turned out OK, but I guess the scars were too deep.”  

I didn’t ask any more questions, I just listened.  Lucky laid it all out about what Meg did to Glenda. Lucky gazed into the fire and recounted the ‘incident’.  “Glenda was twelve when her little friends and her got hold of one of those playgirl magazines with big guys in them.  Meg was drunk when she found the magazine and confronted Glenda.  

The conversation got loud, Meg said she was going to ‘teach Glenda a lesson’ about being a girl.  


Glenda locked herself in the bedroom and tried to get out of the window, but Meg knocked down the door and grabbed her.”  I didn’t make eye contact with Lucky as I took a sip of beer but N.F. did and put his hand on Lucky’s shoulder (he was sitting right next to Lucky).  

Lucky just kept talking.  Lucky went on, “Meg slapped her around, choked her out, tied her hands to the headboard and went down on Glenda till she had an orgasm (Glenda had her first period a couple of weeks before the incident) then Meg used a wine bottle on her.  Needless to say that’s why I got the kids.”

Lucky continued, "neither me or Meg wanted the cops involved, family court had Meg see a shrink who said she’s a sociopath, CPS didn’t give me a problem and Meg knew better than to fight me.”  Lucky got quiet took a few sips and just closed his eyes for minute.  N.F. said to Lucky, “do you know when Hank is coming home from Afghanistan?”  

“In about 25 days N.F.”  I asked, “You don’t think anyone in Glenda’s circle would try to contact Hank and tell him what’s going on before he gets back to the US do you?”  Lucky said “I don’t know, why do you ask?”  I said, “I can clearly understand the stress he is under right now given the situation in that country, knowing this now could put him over the edge, he could become a liability to himself and his unit.”

Lucky said, “That’s a good point, but I don’t want to tell him anything, but if he finds out, then he is going to want to leave right away, his very heart is his little Lucinda.”  Lucky said, “I am worried about what Hank would and could do to Glenda if she tried to take Lucinda away from him or if he gets any interference from ‘Butchy’ if he attempts to reconcile, repair or salvage any kind of relationship with Glenda.  This is a mess.”

Lucky stayed the night at N.F.’s.  We all sat around the fire, keeping it going until dawn.  I gave Lucky some resources through the VA that he could pass on to Hank when he got back in country.  




Lucky went home in the morning after breakfast.  When I got back to Roscoe I made some calls and did some research about victims of abuse and coping mechanisms.  

Cracking a walnut with your vagina is not a trick at all, it’s a reflex  the condition of severe muscle spasms in the vagina is a response mechanism to rape or the threat of rape or violation.

Some women can spasm at will (a learned response).  I found out from Ellie, (N.F.’s wife) that Glenda had a few episodes with boys that Lucky doesn’t know about.  


Glenda had sex with a boy who wanted it rough, she had a ‘vaginismus’ episode that caused that boy to have severe bleeding from his penis (dick in a vice).  

Glenda was checked for all kinds of STD’s and was clean (she seldom dated after that) staying away from boys and getting very involved in Church and School functions.

What happens when Hank gets home from the war?   Look out for Part 2.


RJ

Upcoming Entries and Announcements

Thank you for your patronage.  Thanks even more for your response to my request for your blog entries and/or subject requests for blog entries.

Coming soon "Heartbreak and Misery" a drama about an Army couple who divorce.  Dark secrets, violation and revenge are all in this fictional tale that has a moral (or immoral) that is all to real.   


The story is short but the print is big so you can read it fast, its not much even though the entry might look big.


Also there will be more images added to the slideshow.

More and more people are reading the blog and I want to thank you for your ongoing participation.


As always I will be keeping it real (one way or the other)

RJ

Why Do We Laugh at the Worst Moments?

Here ya go RJ. I dont think it needs to be edited ..ok? oh and NO PORN FOR THIS!!!  lol after all, it is a kids story  if ya get my drift. lol

Why Do We Laugh at the Worst Moments?

The above question has been on my mind for awhile now. I ask it because upon having some alone time , my brain decided to pull up the old archives and run it's videos of funny moments in my life.


Most were real cause to laugh out loud (in text-ing terms , LOL). Sadly though, there were a few Independent short films that intercepted and I had to stop and ask, why did I laugh at that?

So, here is a quick chronicle of one those truly idiotic moments where my giggle factor kicked in.

When I was 6 years old or so, my Mom had this paddle that sort of looked like a small cutting board with a handle. It even had the leather sting attached to hang it up on the wall for all the world to see. On the front of this "cutting" board, was a picture of a Deer at the top and down further was a picture of a Bear. 

The writing on this piece of carved wood stated: "FOR THE CUTE LITTLE DEAR WITH THE BARE BEHIND"

 Need I explain?

 Not that Mother ever HIT me with the thing... she ... well... she would rap it hard against the edge of the kitchen table to try and imitate the sound of a tree cracking! I hated it. It got my attention every time.

One absolutely glorious , sunshiny morning, I, as usual did something stupid and got into trouble. Mom got angry, took down the paddle and hit the table too hard. 

The paddle proceeded to break into 2 even pieces. The Deer and The Bear no longer coexisted on the same piece of wood! My age 6 brain lit up, my eyes opened wide, a little voice told me to run. My legs did not get the message.

Instead, they fell out from under me, causing my behind to hit the floor , and before I could say ouch, I started giggling, then laughing, then rolling around and pointing.

WRONG!!!!!!!

 I saw the look in my Mother's eyes, saw her nostrils flare. Of course , then I ran like all heck upstairs to my room and hid under the bed. 

Waited. Waited and... Mom never came after me. So i started to giggle again.

The next morning, (nothing happened the day of the wood breaking ceremony) I went downstairs to the kitchen and sat down, ready to eat my Rice Crispies, when i looked down and saw it.

It was back. It was not the same , but it was back. The paddle no longer had the pretty wood oak color, it had been taped back together with Electrical Tape. Yes. That is what I said. Electrical Tape. So much tape that the paddle was double in it's thickness. (wincing).

I didn't say a word. Mom, however, started giggling...

Written by: CR from SL

Headlines and Sex News Updates

Headlines and Sex News Updates

News / Non-Fiction

I got an e-mail from one of ‘the crowd’.  The Ol’ Man said “your tired of writing because some people got turned off by what’s really happening out there…you blog about it and people stop reading as much.  Question is, are you writing to pander to the crowd or to stir up some ‘controversy’?”  The Ol’ Man went on to say, “if you want to kiss my ass come on over and do it, otherwise write the stuff we need to read even if we don’t.”

I wrote a response to the Ol’ Man that I won’t quote here.  But the blog is primarily about ‘controversial social commentary’ so I’ll give it to you in headlines.  I have been writing on topics received by some of ‘the crowd’ and covering items I believe are pertinent to ‘hanging out’.  

I have been writing while sober for the last 6 months.  Apparently some of you can tell.  So until I can get myself in a comfortable ‘altered state of consciousness’, here are some items to think about:

Can Oral Sex Really Give You Cancer?  This topic was covered by MSNBC reporter Rachael Rettner.  Rettner writes, “Reports of an increase in head and neck cancers that are caused by human papillomavirus, or HPV, have lead some to propose that changes in sexual behavior, specifically an increase in oral sex, are responsible.

But experts say such conclusions may be premature, or at least overstated, and are leading to unnecessary worry.

While oral sex may be a risk factor for some types of head and neck cancer, the link is, at this point, speculative, experts say. Moreover, there are many other elements that play a role in whether a person develops cancer, including the strength of the immune system, said Sara Rosenquist, a psychologist and sex therapist in North Carolina.

In general, there is no need for individuals in monogamous relationships to restrict their sexual activities if the pair is in good health, Rosenquist said.”

The report goes on to say that risks for cancer increase with the number of sex partners a person has.  There is a lot of good stuff in the report. 

If that doesn’t get your big head worrying about your little head or what you put in your big mouth think about this; Chlamydia Evolves into New Strains!

In an article written by Jeanna Bryner, she wrote, “The bacteria that cause Chlamydia, the world's most common sexually transmitted disease, seems to be sneakier than once thought, as a new study suggests it frequently exchanges DNA between different strains to form entirely new strains.” 1.3 Million cases of Chlamydia (thought to be the easiest STD to get rid of) have been reported in the U.S. and over 100 million worldwide.

 

Bryner also noted, “Scientists know there are two groups of Chlamydia strains, one that seems to infect the eyes and urinary-genital areas, and another set known to spread through the lymphatic system, which is important to the body's immune system. 

Currently, an epidemic of the lymphatic types is progressing in Europe and North America, particularly in men who have sex with men, the researchers note online today (March 11) in the journal Nature Genetics.

However, little is known about how these different strains evolve and emerge.”

By the way these new strains of Chamydia are resistant to antibiotics!  (Penis to mouth, Penis to Vagina, Lips or Tongue to Ass…this is how this STD is transmitted.  It’s more prevalent than most people think.  Get your check-up from your junk up.  If you don’t know you have it, 'it' will mess you up.  The link to the article is below.

And I close with a reference to an older blog entry about ‘Sex Surrogates’, apparently more women are using the services of ‘sex surrogates’.  

Yeah, since hubby can’t get it up or hubby can’t turn her on, ‘wife’ (or whatever you choose to call your sex partner) is calling in a pinch hitter.

(http://thehappeningz.blogspot.com/2012/01/worlds-oldest-profession-by-any-other.html) 

Rachael Rettner (that’s right, sex reporter) wrote the following article for  MyHealthNewsDaily, ‘Use of Surrogate Sex Partners Rising Among Women’;

Although use of surrogate partners is rare among patients of both genders, they are increasingly being used by women whose physical or mental health problems prevent them from enjoying a healthy sex life , experts say. In the past, such therapy was employed almost exclusively by men.

"More and more women are now claiming their birth right to either have an orgasm, or healthy relationship or have sexual satisfaction," said Shai Rotem, a surrogate partner who is based in Los Angeles but practices internationally.

In his 14 years as a surrogate partner, Rotem has worked with women who have a condition called vaginismus, which makes sex painful , women in their 40s or 50s who are virgins and women who have experienced sexual trauma.

Oh, yeah, some long haired, donkey dicked, guru, Indian dude is ‘getting somebody’s old lady off’ because her husband can’t figure it out or can’t do what he used to.  

(Yeah, Kama Sutra, Long Strokin’ dudes from India – aren’t you glad there aren’t any ‘darkys’ from the hood doing this kind of work – or is there?)  Apparently anybody can apply to be a ‘sex surrogate’.  Read my blog entry on that, you might find your calling.

RJ

http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/03/23/10832041-can-oral-sex-really-give-you-cancer

http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242799-Chlamydia-Evolves-into-New-Strains

http://www.myhealthnewsdaily.com/1648-surrogate-partner-therapy-women.html

Another Note To The Crowd

A Note To The Crowd...

I talked to my staff members and contributors and no one has any good news or funny topics to talk about.   


I would love to post some comedy right now to take the heaviness out of the daily mass media headlines that only bring reminders of how much the world sucks.

Yep, between family members battling cancer, some of my friends in the Armed Forces facing economic ruin, nervous breakdown, divorce and just plain abandonment by their own families, and let me not forget those in need of prayer because they don’t have enough cash to buy food to feed themselves and their families – I myself can’t find time to be very fucking funny.

You can e-mail me any subject, topic or story to blog and I will post it for you (of course some editing may be necessary).  I would love to post something funny or just fun.  As Steve Winwood made his appeal to Mr. Fantasy for a song, I make my appeal to you to get us ‘out of this gloom’.  I have no one else but you for something funny to post.

I have only more bad news from the CDC, heartbreaking news about sexual abuse by teachers, priests and cops.  I only have more warnings about civil unrest and the killing of the innocent and even more sad stories about heroic young men and women in uniform coming back to pain, shame and ruin.  

Some say they don’t read the blog as much because I’m mocking politics, politicians, liars and deceivers in and out of the media.  So help me out and let me know what you want to see in the blog, otherwise enjoy the slideshows and the videos.  I don’t mean to be so down or be the heavy, but you got to help me out.

RJ. 

St. Patrick’s Day: What To Do – What Not To Do

St. Patrick’s Day: What To Do – What Not To Do

As we go and celebrate this wonderful excuse to watch parades and drink Guinness or drink Guinness and watch parades realize there are things to do and not to do on St. Patrick’s Day.  First some St. Patrick’s Day facts




 (I’m only listing a few because I don’t want to do a 20 page blog.)

One Big Myth: St. Patrick was not Irish! His dad was Italian, his mother was Scottish and he was born in Scotland. His birth name was Maewyn Succat. Who knew? And the whole chasing snakes out of Ireland? Just a legend.

Raise Your Glass. On the average day, 5.5 million pints of Guinness are consumed around the world. That number more then doubles on St. Patrick's Day, with more than 13 million pints going down the hatch.

Keep you eye on the prize, and the leprechaun. Legend has it that if you catch a leprechaun, he will promise great wealth if you let him go. However, don't take your eyes off him or he will vanish!

Four leaf clovers -- for your eyes only. Found a four leaf clover? Great. You will now have good luck in gambling and racing and it will render witchcraft powerless! However, you must always carry it with you and never  show it to others, or your luck will fail.

This is way worse than bad luck! Forget about bad luck. According to the Irish, if a black cat crosses your path in the moonlight, you will die in an epidemic. Yikes!

Get your green on! Consider yourself warned: if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day, people are allowed to pinch you.  It was believed that wearing green made you invisible to leprechauns, who would pinch anyone they could see. Revelers began pinching those who didn’t wear green as a reminder of that belief.

  

Things not to do on St. Patrick’s Day

Do not go out drinking without a designated driver, do not drink without eating first.  Here is some more advise that would be considered common sense if you are stopped by the police on St. Patrick’s Day or St. Patrick’s Weekend.

 

Here is 35 things not to say to a cop if pulled over:

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy-from the Village People band?

4. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me. Good job.

5. I though you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.

6. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

7. Bad cop, no donut.

8. You're not going to check the trunk are you?

9. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

10. Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on COPS?

11. Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriends night stand.

12. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonalds?

13. I pay your salary.

14. So uh, you on the take or what?

15. Gee officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.

16. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us knows.

17. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around, that's how far ahead they are.

18. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" YOU'RE the trained specialist.

19. Well officer, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

20. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

21. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

22. No, YOU assume the position.

23. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a 3 for 1 special!

24. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?

25. No, offi, offic, lucifer...I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.

26. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110mph.

27. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

28. But officer, I've got 2 different drivers licenses from 2 different states! Pick ONE!

29. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!

30. On the way to the station, let's get a six pack, oh and don't forget the cigs.

31. Come on, write the stupid ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

32. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

33. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

34. So that's what those yellow flashing lights in the school zone mean?

35. What do you use those rubber gloves for anyway?

Remember to party responsibly and save stupid behavior, stupid thinking and stupid actions for any area that is injury free and away from law enforcement.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Weekend.

Citations:

http://lemont.patch.com/articles/st-patricks-day-fun-facts-did-you-know-st-patrick-wasnt-irish-a9fd30d1

http://www.mainstreet-data.com/dickens/35things.htm 

Feedback: Radicals and Rednecks

Lampoon: - (Literary & Literary Critical Terms) a satire in prose or verse ridiculing a person, literary work, etc. (from the free dictionary by FARLEX) 

What the blogs about politics are, or at most meant to be, is a Lampoon of the Media, the Political Process and the people who listen to the nonsense.  For those who do not read the disclaimer at the header of this blog let me give this just a little bit more clarity for the literacy impaired and the morally hypocritical.

This web site does not service any particular point of view.  The website is a sounding board for a number of folks.  Its about events, entertainment, gossip, rumors, politics (all kinds), editorials and opinions.  We get our blogs from a number of people who don't want to be 'out there' so on request its all edited.   Its not porn or salacious, but sometimes graphic to get the point across.

We do not advertise anything   We do not solicit and we do not judge anyone for any reason.  Your opinion is yours.

On this web site we like to hear it.   If you want material blogged but don't want to be 'listed' as the author, fine.  Send us your subject matter. 

A Public Service Announcement from the Editing Staff.

All American Scandals: Which Party Is More Fucked Up?

All American Scandals: Which Party Is More Fucked Up?   

Editorial / Citations are Non-Fiction 

It was a slow Saturday afternoon and I decided to watch college basketball at my favorite North Baldwin hideout and visit ‘G’.  I’m always glad to see ‘G’ she always has a smile on her face and she generally keeps you joking.  

That afternoon she had a couple of her regulars at the bar in a discussion over what political party has the ‘moral high ground’.   I looked at these guys, Terry and Jerry both in their late 50’s, and just shook my head negatively.

"What’s your problem RJ?  You don’t think the Republicans are more moral than the Democrats?" said Terry.  I said, “to paraphrase a line from R. Lee Ermy that applies, ‘in the eyes of God they are all equally worthless' and politics is not a good subject for the barstool.’” Terry said, “the Democrats are deviate sex mongers who’ll fuck anything.”  Jerry jumped in saying, “and the Republicans just do it with minors and in sex clubs, which makes it OK, huh?”  About that time, Todd, a scholar and Professor of History at Adelphi University walked in, he is also one of ‘G’s regular patrons.

Todd always has his I-Pad and the bar being wifi enabled, gives Todd all the reason to come to the bar other than to see ‘G’.  Terry and Jerry pleaded their cases to Todd who looked at them and asked, “there is a damn good ball game going on and you two clowns are arguing over something as stupid as this, both parties are totally without morals, they just put on a good masquerade and sling mud at each other.”

“We just gotta know what party is more scandalous as far as being sexual deviates” begged Terry attempting to justify his argument.  Todd Said “Ok, I’ll give you a quick free history lesson and you figure it out”.  So Todd went to his I-Pad and quickly brought up some info and then plugged a USB drive into the side.  ‘G’ had his drink in front of him in the blink of an eye and the bar got quiet as Professor Todd started his history lesson:

Daniel Webster, a Representative from New Hampshire
and a Representative and a Senator from Massachusetts;
born in Salisbury, N.H., January 18, 1782  

 “I could go back to the 1850’s and start with the scandal involving Daniel Webster, a Democrat, who was accused of fathering two children with a black woman.  If I start there I could count a total of 33 well known political scandals up to 2001.  Up to the Bush Administration, that is Bush Jr.  I can also sight two major scandals that involved multiple members of one party in particular.

The score card from 1850 to 2001 for scandals goes like this: 21 scandals for the Democrats which includes one scandal that involves both a Democrat and a Republican and 11 for Republicans.  What this doesn’t include is scandals from 2001 to 2012.  There are scandals involving persons in the executive and judicial branches and very deviate behavior.”

‘G’ asks, “what about after 2001, what’s the score?” Professor Todd took a long sip from a cold glass Sam Adams from the tap and said, “eight of the last 11 scandals involved Republicans.”  Jerry said, tell me about the big Republican scandals that you mentioned Todd”.  Terry got argumentative, ‘G’ brought the place to order as new customers came in and listened in on Todd’s history lesson.  ‘G’ said, “Go on Todd tell us about the big Republican scandal.”

Todd said, “The scandal under the Bush Sr., administration was broke by the Washington Post, it was a Homosexual Child Prostitution ring.  It involved a lobbyist by the name of Craig J. Spence.  When the investigation nailed down Spence and was going to make him talk he allegedly committed ‘suicide’.  Details of the Spence suicide investigation were never released.  But it did involve boys and administration officials.  It was reported by KARLYN BARKER, WASHINGTON POST, JULY 24, 1990 .

“What about the Democrats and Clinton” cried Terry.  Todd said, “OK, Clinton didn’t do any little boys but he had a few women according to credible sources.” “‘During the 1992 presidential primaries, former TV reporter Gennifer Flowers claimed she had a 12-year affair with candidate Bill Clinton. As President, he was accused of sexually harassing state worker Paula Jones. The Jones investigation ultimately revealed the President's relationship with White House intern Monica Lewinsky.’”

I asked Terry and Jerry “so what does all this prove?”  Todd answered for them, “we are governed by a group of low life sexual deviates masquerading as decent citizens.”  “Well what about now cried Terry, what about Obama?”  

“No reports of sexual deviance so far on Obama” said Todd.  “Mrs. Obama is built well and looks like she would beat the shit out of the President if he thought about stepping out.”

Terry said, “Come on, Muslims must have more than one woman on the side.”  I said, “what the fuck does that mean?” Terry said, "RJ, Obama is a muslim, I heard it on Fox News."  Professor Todd laughed and said “no Terry that’s all propaganda, the President was raised a Christian, baptized a Christian, and attends church as a Christian and has been a Christian ever since he was a child…what you heard was pure bullshit by hate inspired propagandists.”

I said, “you’re a good Christian, right Terry?”  Terry said, “yeah, so?” I asked who was that young teeny bopper looking girl you were in here with last week?  I met your wife and she wasn’t her.”  

Terry got pissed and got up to get in my face and was restrained by other patrons as I said “calm down.”  I said, “The point I’m making is before you start accusing the President, the Senator, the Governor, the Congressperson or the Lobbyists of moral failings look at yourself.”

Professor Todd said “if you want more information I can give you sources that you can ‘google’ or books to read that have credible source information.”  Jerry again asked, so which party is the most “sexually deviant and/or perverted.  ‘G’ said, “It looks like they are trying to out-do each other in this department too.”  Professor Todd said, “where there is power there is corruption of all kinds, both parties are hopelessly sexually deviate and equally scandalous.”

Jerry asked, “Professor what is the most deviate sexual act by a politician that is on the record.”  “It depends on your definition of deviate” said Professor Todd.  “But I do have some examples that disturb me” said Todd.  “Well, tell it” said Jerry.  Before Professor Todd started he was bombarded with questions but got back to the subject after ‘G’ brought him another ice cold Sam Adams draught.

Professor Todd said, “Rep. Jon Hinson (R. Miss) stunned his constituents on August 8, 1980 by announcing that he had been accused of committing an obscene act in a gay bar in Virginia in 1976, and that in 1980 he had survived a fire in a gay movie theater in Washington. He said he was making these disclosures to clear his conscience. But he denied he was gay and refused to resign.

Three months later, Hinson was arrested in a restroom of a House office building for engaging in oral sodomy with a male employee of the Library of Congress. Hinson, a married man and "family values" conservative, resigned his seat on April 13, 1981. In July 1995, he died from AIDS.” 

Jerry said, “oral sodomy, aint that….” “ass hole licking” said Terry.

Jerry and Terry finally agreed.  “We need a third political party with regular folks in it and not wing nuts on the left or the right.”  I thought about all that went on after I left the bar and a third party would be just as screwed up as the two we’re stuck with.  

What’s got to change is America. 

RJ

http://writ.news.findlaw.com/dean/congsexscandals.html

http://www.voxfux.com/features/bush_child_sex_coverup/article_archive.htm

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/politics/sex-scandal-timeline/index.html

http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Bush_administration_scandals

Sex Terms, Scandal and Old Arguments

Sex Terms, Scandal and Old Arguments

All of the bullshit in the media these days reminds me of a conversation I had at a bar in Tennessee about two years ago.  It was late March of 2010, when I was somewhere in the Pigeon Forge, Dollywood, Gatlinberg area.  It was a town called Sevierville in eastern Tennessee.  I was travelling with some folks, who for the sake of this entry we will call Burt, Cindy and Lana (Jason’s girl) because they have to live in Tennessee.

We were at a place called the Tailgaters Sports Bar and Grille and it was on the river.  Great place, nice folks, great scenery but intelligent conversation is not something to expect in any bar.  This day and time was no exception.  There was a kind of hostility in the air as some folks watched the Fox Network as the President signed the healthcare bill into law and Vice President Biden commented “This is a big fuckin deal”.

Sitting next to me was a friend of ours, ‘Jason’ who was a young guy in his early 20’s from a farm in the area.  He left the topic of health care and started spewing all kinds of stuff about sex scandals, Richard Gere and sex with varmints.  Realizing Jason was a lightweight drinker (only halfway through his second beer) and having nothing better to do, I asked “what is your point?”

“Democrats always seem to lead this country into depravity with their loose sex and their scandalous heathen ways.”  

I said, “Really Jason, tell me where did you get this information.”  “Where everybody gets God’s truth, from brother Glen Beck and Fox News”, said Jason, mystified by my question.  “Jason, tell me about some of these sex scandals ‘Brother Glen’ spoke about”, then I listened intently.

“Well, Beck talked about Condit fuckin the girl who disappeared and that she was probably killed to keep it a secret….and all kinds of other stuff, but I got it…its all about destroying marriage and giving faggots rights to marry…I can’t say it like he did but I know what he was talkin’ bout”.  Jason finished his beer and ordered another one, which I  bought for Jason, about that time Burt and Cindy got back from the pool table after a game of eight ball.  Lana finished her video game.

    Jason said, “Democrats are leading us down the ‘wrong path’, they don’t have ‘our values’”.  Lana asked, “Wow, what values are those?”  Jason said “You know, going to Church, worshiping our God, having regular sex…”  I said, “Well Jason, like you I’m a Republican, but what kind of God and what kind of sex are you talking about?”  

Jason spurted, “You know, they (Democrats) worship that Vishnu, Allah-baba, Krishna God like Obama does.”  I said, “Wow, there’s a lot of Southern Baptists that need to change parties.” “And the weird sex those Congressmen and Senator ‘perverts’ have in the White House, them Democrats are all fuckin perverts” said Jason.  

The bar was loud and apparently Jason didn’t get any attention from the patrons outside of an ‘Amen’ from, I guess another good ol’ boy who gets his information from the same place Jason does.  Lana had to keep this conversation going by asking “what kind of sex do they have in the White House Jason?”

Jason said, “I heard their into ass fucking, ass-licking, cunt sucking, pissing on each other and all kinds of stuff with shit.”  About now I was getting another beer because this was going to be better entertainment than the comedy club.  Cindy looked at Jason like he was a lost little boy in front of a Turkish Bath House.  Cindy said, “so your not into ‘snowballing’ or working your woman for a ‘Dirty Sanchez’”.

Jason stared at her shook his head and said, “it don’t snow much in Tennessee and why should I work my woman for an illegal alien?”  Lana laughed hysterically as Burt chimed in and had to school young Jason, because it was apparent his ‘urban’ and sexual vocabulary was woefully inadequate, even in Southeastern Tennessee. Burt said, “seriously you don’t know what snowballing is?”  Lana said, “Me and Jason aint been dating that long and I’m not that kind of woman.”

Burt said, “First off, ‘snowballing’ is when your woman blows you and you come in her mouth and she tongue kisses you spitting the ‘come’ back in your mouth… You never did that huh?  Jason’s eyes were open and he was sucking air through his mouth.  “No…I guess that’s the weird sex they was talking about” said Jason as both Lana and Cindy were giggling to death.

 Burt asked, “so I sure as hell can guess you have no idea what a ‘Dirty Sanchez’ is do you?”  Jason said, “I’m not sure I wanna know.”  Burt said, “‘Dirty Sanchez’ is when you get done fucking your girl in the ass, get some of the slime from her hole and put a moustache on her lip with your finger or your dick.”  Jason turned bright red as he quickly sucked down some beer.

“Stop it Burt before you blow his mind away” said Cindy as Lana held his hand.  Jason was sitting across from Burt, locked in a stare, like a deer in the headlights.  But Burt continued, insisting, “he’s got to know this stuff.”  I said, “Yeah, Democrats do other weird sex too, so you listen to what Burt tells you.”  "OK RJ, let me go on"…I gestured graciously that he continue.

“So you never gave Lana a ‘pearl necklace’?”  Jason said, “I don’t make that much money.”  Burt said, “a ‘pearl necklace is when you spurt your jizz all over Lana’s neck and shoulders either by jerking off or tit fucking her.”  Jason said, oh my God, isn’t that…I mean, wasting sperm, I mean…can’t you go to hell for that?”  Burt said, “Have you ever jacked off?”  Jason turned red again and started to shake, looking at all of us like we were from outer space.

I said, “Yep, this is the kind of stuff Democrats do, but some Republicans have also stepped into this weirdness, you know…them so called ‘moderates’.” Burt said, “come on RJ, let me help him here.”  I said, “excuse me Burt, please continue.”  Burt said, “Have you ever had ‘cream pie’?”  Jason thought about it and said, “no just pumpkin, sweet potato, apple, cherry, peach cobbler and lemon meringue.” 

Burt said, “‘cream pie’ is when you let your wad loose in her pussy then watch it ooz out, you can catch it on your tongue and snowball her or you let it ooz back out on your dick and have her lick it off and swallow.”  Jason’s eyes had grown large, he was sweating and confused.  Jason looked down at his ‘manhood’ which had become hard, Lana noticed and put her hand on it.

  

I said, “I’m surprised that ‘the news’ didn’t let you know about all this ‘pervert’ sex the Democrats and the turncoat Republicans were doing.  Of course being a good Republican you’ll never do anything like this with Lana or any other woman, will you Jason?”  Burt said, “Knock it off RJ, this is what guys do now, Republican or Democrat…this has been going on even before the Roman Empire.”

Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Ger­man­i­cus
 (more popularly known as Caligula)
Emperor of Sex and Murder.

Jason asked Burt, “is this what they do in Washington?  I mean, they do all this scandalous, nasty stuff and then pretend to be good people?”  Burt said, “forget politics, this is what people do, everybody does this kind of sex and those who don’t are the hypocrites, because they’re either gay or a serial killer.”  Jason said, “Democrats and Republicans…are both of ‘em, nasty deviates, not all of them, are they?  It just can’t be.”  Jason was confused, shocked and had a hard on.

I said, “Jason, there are Republicans and Democrats who actually do it with and to each other.  Sometimes more than two of them, did you know that?”  Jason said, “bullshit, that can’t be.” (he reminded me of when Darth Vader told Luke, “ I AM YOUR FATHER)  I said, “sometimes they get together and do a ‘daisy chain’”.  Jason , looking confused said “they get in circle and hold hands?”

Cindy was in the middle of swallowing her beer when she spurt it out and started gagging in response to Jason’s ‘daisy chain’ answer.  Burt gave Cindy a napkin and then asked Jason, “seriously, you don’t know what a 'daisy chain' is?”  Jason braced himself and said, “OK, what is it?”  Burt, looked at Cindy who blinked her eyes then he looked at Lana who wrapped her lips around her bottle and then looked at Jason.

Burt said, “a daisy chain involves three or more people, we’ll call them AA, BB and CC.  Its when AA is giving BB a blow job, while BB is giving CC a ‘rim job’ and CC is eating AA’s pussy.  Get it?”  Jason, who now held his beer with two hands said, “more than two people getting it on…oh Lord.”  Then Jason asked Burt, “what’s a 'rim job’".  Lana said "tonight, when we get back to Maryville, we’re going to a motel where I can explain things a whole lot better.”

Jason did stare at his beer, sweating and in shock, he said, “Republicans with Democrats, Democrats with Republicans, Conservatives with Liberals, Liberals with Tea Party folks…America is going to hell.  This is all because of Obama and his healthcare plan.  People will stop fearing God if they’re not afraid to do it to each other.  This must be some kind of socialist plot.”

Burt said, “Thats it, let’s go.”  So we went.  Later the next week Lana called Cindy to relate how she turned Jason into a total sex freak and how he loved a three way with her Nigerian coworker Paula.  Lana said to Cindy, “Paula had a strap on and he let her bang him good, but he wouldn’t let Paula give him a blow job cause that would be ‘mixing of the races.'” At some point being a Republican, a Democrat, Black or White, straight or gay doesn’t matter.  But then Jason goes to Church and watches Fox News.

RJ