Homophobia and A Good Massage

Homophobia and A Good Massage

Three days before President Obama announced his affirmation for gay persons right to ‘marry’, I witnessed a conversation regarding gay persons, gay behavior, homophobia and social mores.  

Although I didn’t agree with all points of view, I did find that different people, even within the same race, upbringing, social status and shared experience, view things differently.

I was at Bronkos and ‘G’ was working on a Sunday, she had a good crowd of regulars, rogues, roughnecks and wrongdoers.  As the crowd thinned out around 5 O’Clock (dinner time)  Ol’ Ricky came in and pulled himself up to the bar, not to talk to me but with my running buddy Candy.  (If I go anywhere with Candy who is pretty, hot, vivacious…almost no one talks to me).

‘G’ never misses a beat, she knows what her regulars want to drink and its always being poured before one can ask.  Ricky talked about his arthritis and bad back, a subject I know something about.  As the conversation went on Fox News broadcast something regarding gay’s, what exactly I forget but the conversation between Candy and Ricky now was on remedies for arthritic maladies and qualified medical persons.

“Ricky what you need is not necessarily a Chiropractor, but a masseuse who specializes in sports related therapy” said Candy as she nursed her snifter of Old No. 7.  Ricky, sipping slowly on his tonic and gin said, “Finding a good masseuse is very difficult because so many people have differing opinions on what a good massage is and how to effect what their patient wants and needs.”

Candy said, “There are a lot of guys who must be real good, I know with all the sports activity in the New York/Metropolitan Area there has to be at least one good masseuse in this area.”  

Ricky’s eyes got glazed over and he said, “and there is the rub, so to speak…I don’t want a guy massaging me, I need a female masseuse.”  Candy looked him in the eye and said “Why?”

Ricky said, “because I want a woman masseuse who is an expert at what she does, I only want a woman putting her hands on me, that’s what I want and that’s what I’m gonna get!”  Candy snapped, “why not a man, you’re a man, if you were a masseuse wouldn’t you massage a man?”  Ricky fired back, “I’m not a masseuse and if I were my clientele would be women exclusively.”  Candy said in a whisper, why?

“Because no damn faggot is putting his hands on me” said Ricky.  “What makes a male masseuse a faggot?  Why is he a faggot?  If he were gay what would that have to do with you getting a good massage for your back” said Candy.  Rick said “I saw a man giving a massage to a soccer player when I was visiting my son oversees and he was making all kinds of sex noises, licking his lips, breathing heavy and acting like a queer.” 

Candy said “and that’s the reason you don’t want a male masseuse?”  “No, not the only reason, a female masseuse may better be able to attend to ‘specific types’ of massage that I would not be comfortable receiving from a man” said Ricky as he reached for his drink.  “You mean ‘a happy ending’ don’t you?” said ‘G’, who like the other three people in the bar was listening in.

Ricky said “Well yeah, among other things…”  Candy snapped, “Oh, so it’s not your back, it’s your dick, you don’t want a masseuse you want a hooker…say what you mean, mean what you say, your not concerned with you medical condition, your concerned with getting off…don’t stutter, what,… are you going to tell me your dick is connected to your back.”  Ricky said, “A masseuse doesn’t have to be a hooker…”

Candy went off, “a hooker damn sure aint gonna be a professional masseuse, just a paid whore.”  “Candy, I just know what my preferences are, I don’t care about anybody else, just me and my body” said Ricky.  “So you wouldn’t let a gay man touch you but you would let a gay woman masseuse massage you, is that what your saying” said Candy. 

Ricky answered, “Any woman masseuse who can rub me the right way, my way, I will let touch me, that’s all.”  “Just because someone is gay doesn’t mean that they are ‘weird’, perverted or unqualified to be any kind of professional, there are gay’s all around you providing services every day, in the military, in the schools, in the hospitals, and even in your civic organizations…got that” said Candy as she stared down poor Ol’Ricky.

‘G’ had to leave, it was now the end of her shift.  The 10 souls now in the bar had laughed hysterically at the conversation that was a little more involved than written.  But many got the point on both sides of the discussion.   Most saw Candy’s point of view but totally identified with Ricky.  But no matter where you stand on any personal issue with gay persons, lesbians or others, no human being should be denied insurance, medical benefits or housing because of sexual preference.

How gay rights is happening in America is becoming very clear.  I don’t know if there will be marches on Washington or the State Capital in Raleigh, North Carolina, but I do know attitudes will not change overnight.  Southern legislators are still fighting the last civil war against their half white president. 

The problem in America is the very appearance of what might be a gay attitude or gay actions.  I can best illustrate and sum this up with a story by Redd Foxx.  

The story goes: Two men were out on a desert trail, several miles outside of the nearest town when one of them got bit by a rattlesnake. 

The bite was in the groin right on his manhood.  His buddy sat him down and ran to town for help. 

“Doctor my friend was bit by a rattlesnake, can you help?”  The Doctor gave him a knife and a tourniquet and said make an incision, suck out the poison and tie off the area.  

The man ran back the several miles and got to his friend.  His friend asked “what did the Doctor say?”  His buddy said, “Doctor said your gonna die.”

RJ