Dirty Secret Of Nasty Middle Aged Men

Nasty Middle Aged Men (or Andropause and the real reason for fucked up individuals)

“Why is it that everything from nightlife to real life is blamed on women and menopause?”

Candy looked me in the eyes and asked again, “why?” I took my time to think about the answer as we sat in at my North Baldwin hangout while “G” poured us a round of drinks to take the edge off what was a bad week.

Candy folded her arms and opened her eyes wider, with the intensity of the high beams on a tractor trailer and just as agitating. “Well do you have an answer Mr. No-It-All or are you just going to try to sell the one sided silly assed argument that all of man’s problems are based on a woman’s period RJ?” I said, “look, men have their mid life crisis but I’m not sure if it’s in reaction to menopause or if it’s something in a man’s aging process, but I will find out Candy.”

Thankfully for me Doc was in the establishment and saw me being stared down like a punk in front of the school bully. Doc jumped in, “it’s called ‘andropause’ RJ.” “What exactly is that Doc?” (Candy now focused on Doc with the high beams off, and about six other patrons listened up) “Just as women get moody, bitchy, nasty and sometimes even dangerous during menopause men go through mood swings during ‘andropause.’”

Doc took a sip of his cranberry and vodka then continued, “Many men after 40 experience a steady decline in their testosterone levels by as much as 1 to 2% per year. By the time a man is in his 50’s this effects him, some men are effected physically in very negative ways other are effected in psychological ways either way it is a know problem with men aging and there are many ways to deal with it.”

Candy spoke up “so Doc, men have their version of ‘menopause’ and they get just as crazy as women do, don’t they?” Doc said, “I wouldn’t put it in those words and please don’t put words in my mouth…but men are just as likely if not more to experience physical and/or psychological problems if they do not deal with their own ‘moodiness’.”

Billy Mac, a big time boat owner at the end of the bar asked Doc, “How does a guy know he has some kind of ‘mood’ or attitude problem over that much time.” “Ask your wife or girl friend, if you don’t have a wife or girlfriend or your girlfriend or wife has flat left you for what seems no apparent reason you might want to see a Doctor.”

Remy, a middle aged black man who has lived in the neighborhood since grade school put his questions out there for Doc. “I thought it was ‘roid rage’ that made guys go nuts, not ‘low- t’?” About now “G” took food and drink orders, had drinks poured for everyone and slipped Doc a back up as Doc continued his bar side seminar.

“’Roid rage’ is from attempting to compensate for lack of sexual performance with steroids or non-prescription testosterone treatments from quacks or medical facilities outside the United States. The real problem is low testosterone and the changes it makes on a man’s body.” Candy asked, “How does a man know he has a low testosterone problem other than the fact he’s in his 50’s overweight and nasty?”

“Doc took another taste of his drink and said, “He’s got to get his blood tested and tell his Doctor about his life, that’s the only way anyone is going to know what’s going on, both the Doctor and his patient…a guy has got to get tested.” Billy Mac asked, “What are the symptoms of low-t and how does a man know he’s got it?” Doc said, “There are all kinds of ways but a few things stand out:

Obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and/or depression can be a marker for low testosterone, some Doctors and Researchers believe that low –t can bring on some of these physical problems.” “So how does a guy handle this without going to the doctor” asked another 40ish dude who really didn’t want to hear about this topic anymore.

Doc said, “You can by bigger boats, faster cars, find looser women, super sluts on roller skates, get a cocaine habit, smoke like a chimney, get a new wardrobe, wear a diamond earring, buy better herb, seduce teenage girls or get penis extension surgery. But you will never solve the problem unless you see a Doctor.” Doc went on to point out that men are too proud to admit they have problems and avoid needed medical or psychological help.

Candy looked at me like an inmate and started talking to me like a psych patient in a rubber room. “Have you had your testosterone levels checked, are you sure your moodiness is not related to your diminishing manhood, are you sure your taking the right medications, do you need a hug RJ?” As the wave of aggravation passed, I answered with some sarcasm, “No, not right now, but what I would like is that you bend over and let me totally appreciate your ass.”

“What the hell do you mean by that RJ?” “Maybe it would raise my testosterone levels if you believe I’m in some stage of ‘andropause’.” Candy cooled off a little and we went back to drinking. A lot of guys were not happy with Doc, but women at the bar backed him up all day and the rest of the night with his favorite libation. But the point had been made, it’s not all the ‘woman’s’ fault that physical complications show up in relationships.

A while ago I had my Doctor check me out and noticed that I was nearing but not quite in a low –T problem. I was referred to another MD, a female who was really great looking who gave me tests to see if I had problems with getting and maintaining erections from a purely physical view (no problems at all).

But the woman MD said that was only some of the problem. “Most of the dysfunction with men is psychological; stress, poor sleep and/or bad diet also contribute to a man’s mood, most men’s sex drive is determined by their self esteem…financial problems or poor relationship skills can also cause anxiety, anger and disassociation.” Most guys would not even think about seeing a shrink.

But I found out that’s exactly what it might take, most sex takes place between the ears, and if you don’t get your thinking head right your little head won’t stay hard. (When I said most sex takes place between the ears I was referring to imagination and expectation, not trying to fuck your partners face or lose your load between her lips).

Billy Mac left that night with a ‘girl’ half his age. They got in his Jag and took off for who knows where. But he did make a comment that made sense to me. “If your dick is small and limp make sure your wallet is big and stiff.”

And that is why ‘andropause’ is more dangerous than menopause. If you have a small dick and no cash your only choice is to kill yourself or become a politician.

http://men.webmd.com/features/low-testosterone-explained-how-do-you-know-when-levels-are-too-low, Low Testosterone Explained: How Do You Know When Levels Are Too Low?

RJ