Virtual Depravity Part 2Welcome brother, how are you? The old Deacon smiled joyfully as he greeted me, shaking my hand at Backwoods Baptist Church.
Star introduced me to Deacon Wright and other members of the congregation.
The Church was celebrating its 50th anniversary and the preacher today was the former Pastor of the Church the fiery Rev. Jack McMaster. After the Choir sang, the preacher got started.
“The text today is from Titus 2:1-15…deny ungodliness and worldly desires and live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age. As the word says, encourage women to love their husbands, to be sensible, pure, kind, being subject to their own husbands…Older women should not be malicious gossips enslaved to much wine, but teaching what is good.”
The old preacher put down his bible and went on “before their can be submission on the part of a woman to a man, that man must be in submission to God! If a man cannot be the example of Christ in his work, in his home, or in his Church its because he doesn’t have the ‘image’ of Christ in his heart. To have Christ in your heart, ye must let go of this world and its example and take up Christ.
The woman cannot submit to the man unless that man has submitted to Almighty God through Jesus Christ.” Then the old preacher broke hard on both men and women preaching in the old style of the Circuit Riders of the 1860’s. “We cannot be hypocrites, Jeezus (misspelled for emphasis) said ‘But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God: but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.’”
The old preacher finished up essentially saying “if you’re the man and you can’t lead she won’t follow…and woman if you can’t follow, lead…lead your household to God through Christ.” After Church, the congregation had a potluck dinner in the recreation area in the basement of the Church. All the women asked Star who I was and where her husband was at and she tactfully dodged the husband issue noting he was handicapped.
It was a rainy Sunday Morning when we got back from Church and found Bear where he usually is, watching Western’s. Star jumped on the computer and Bear’s eyes rolled back in his head like an odometer turning 100,000. Bear said “she is being a bitch…what about Sunday dinner Star?” Star eventually got off the computer and prepared dinner. She cooked pork chops, baked a cake and worked on a strawberry desert but spilled it on the kitchen floor when she heard her phone ring.
Star took the call and quickly ended it. Bear looked like a madman as he got up from the table going off on Star. Again, I got everybody calm, Star cleaned up the spill, we prayed and we ate. After dinner they asked if we can talk about Star leaving, about how it should be done, and what emotional as well as financial issues that will come up. Both agreed that preparations needed to be made to protect both of them.
“Star, while we are having this meeting I will ask that you not answer your phone or participate in Second Life…can you do that?” “OK RJ! I just don’t need to be shouted at or talked to like a dog.” “Bear, can we do that?” “Yeah RJ.” Bear calmly but emotionally noted his concerns, then Star spoke up. “I’m tired of being the blame for all that’s wrong around here, my needs are not being met and I can’t expect you to meet them Bear.”
“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN BITCH!” Bear said as he stood up wobbling on his swollen bad leg. I shot Bear a look as I sat at the table with him and Star. Bear sat down as Star now had a cold defiance that was evident in her body language. “Remember Bear, you asked her…now you need to hear the answer, OK? “OK RJ! Star spoke soft, slow and cold. “I need a man that can be a man…in bed, in Church, in here.”
“I need a man with a dick that gets and stays hard, I need satisfaction but more than sex I need a man that encourages me, that will go places and will treat me like a woman, not like a slave whore bitch.” Star said, “I’m tired of being verbally violated, demeaned and emotionally raped.” Star went on about Bear being corpulent and some things about his personal hygiene I really didn’t want to hear but they asked me to mediate this ‘session’.
When Star finished Bear responded.
“I put a roof over your head, when we had money we went out and did things, I bought you everything you needed. When you left me the first time for RayRay at the supermarket I swallowed my pride and took you back even though your neighbors told me you were fucking the neighborhood. I sold my rifles and other stuff to pay your bills and this is what I get…Fuck You. RJ came here to renew our vows and you broke them…again.”
“You broke them first Bear” said Star, “you broke the love and cherish part.” “OK! Bear, Star, since its apparent that this time things are torn to bad to mend I ask that you both take time to make a list of things that each of you need to do so Star can leave with dignity and you Bear can find some solace knowing that you can survive here. Alright?
They both agreed Bear got a pad and pen, Star got on the computer and brought up Second Life. That evening as Bear was now on the computer, Star and I spoke for two hours. “RJ, he gets crazy mad sometimes and I am scared he will shoot me.” “Did he ever say that?” “Not with words, but with deeds RJ…I have a recurring dream that he shoots me and I end up a cripple for life. I also see Bear having one leg…I can’t stay.”
“How does this sit with your ‘Christianity’ you just got baptized into the Church but I noticed the Wicca books, the smell of sandalwood and other weird stuff. Who are you attempting to cast a spell on?” Star looked at me and denied practicing witchcraft but she did say that she and Terry did some ‘circles’ in Second Life. Knowing exactly what that meant I asked her how she can have a dual personality without one world or life intruding on the other. Star said “I can have anything in Second Life, I can have anything if I leave here.”
That night Bear went to bed early. Star stayed on the computer most of the night.
Things were tense Monday and Tuesday but all was civil and manageable. Bear and me did some driving and some sight seeing. Bear, Star and myself planned to go out on Wednesday night to a club for some fun and entertainment. But Tuesday afternoon all started to go down hill. Bear and I came back from riding to Cades Cove looking at wildlife, Star was on the computer in Second Life. Bear got mad.
Some of the neighbors came by including the Welder to say high and share some moonshine. Star was out on the deck with me and her neighbor Regan, a woman who worked at the hospital, who joined us for some beer and having a good time. After the Welder and Regan left Star and I did some more talking when Bear got on the computer. Then a phone call on the cell to Star from Terry. Bear, though on the computer, listened to Star on the phone.
Star was telling Terry how much she loved him and how she couldn’t wait to see him. They were laughing and intimate when Bear shouted to Star as I sat with her while she was on the phone. “HEY, the medication I’m on has been recalled by the FDA, it has side effects, you hear me?” I said “Yeah Bear, that medication can cause real bad mood swings.” Bear looked back at Star who was listening to Terry, not Bear.
“Can you tell your little boy to call back, this is important?” Star asked Terry to hold on and put down the phone. She walked over to Bear and said “Why is this important now? I’m talking to Terry, we can talk about your medication later.” Star picked up the phone and continued her conversation. Star spoke about seeing him again and got off the call. Bear said, “You have to rub it in my face, flirting on the phone and all.”
Star looked at him and said, “I’m discussing how I’m going to get to Louisiana in a few weeks and how to plan things out. He and I were talking about transportation, I might take a bus.” Bear blew up, “your little 26 year old boy can’t come and get you?” Terry called back while Bear was talking to Star. Bear realizing it was Terry shouted so he could here, “IF YOU WERE A MAN YOU LITTLE FAGGOT COCKSUCKER YOU WOULD COME UP HERE AND GET HER, YOU HERE ME FAGGOT?”
Star went out on the deck to continue the conversation which she quickly ended and confronted Bear about shouting to Terry. The fireworks started, “Look Bear, that’s the bullshit I’m talking about, you have no respect for me at all…” “BITCH, YOU THROW THIS SHIT IN MY FACE AND SAY I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOU? YOU CAN GET OUT NOW….GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW! PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO! "
I said, “STOP IT, both of you. Stop it.” Star pointed, “RJ, look at him.” Bears eyes were wild, fist clenched, face pale and now sweating like a pig. “Bear, you need to sit down.” “Don’t fucking tell me what to do RJ…this is my house and I want her gone.” Star disappeared into the bedroom and locked the door. “Bear, I’m not telling you what to do, I’m trying to get you calm, you look like your on the verge of a heart attack.”
Star reappeared a half hour later in leather jacket, black pants, black shirt with a bag packed. “Where you going bitch?” “Bear, Terry heard everything you said, RJ sees how your acting too, you want me gone…Terry bought me a bus ticket. I’m going to Knoxville now.” “How you getting there? You better not ask the neighbors, not the welder, not Skippy, not anybody Bitch!” “I’ll hitchhike!”
Skippy was outside the back door and had heard a whole lot, like most of the neighborhood. Star walked outside and Bear was right behind her. Skippy said “Its 30 miles or so to Knoxville, these backwoods roads are too dangerous, you could end up raped or dead before you even get to Alcoa.” Bear smiled, “Lets see your boy toy come and get you now!” Star snapped, “I’ll get to Knoxville or die trying, I’m done Bear.”
I was watching the psychological bondage that both Bear and Star were in, the fear, the vindictiveness, it could only get worse if she stayed. Her safety was at risk if she left on foot. “Star, I’ll take you. Do you indeed have a bus ticket?” “Yes RJ, I do.” I said, “Make sure you have the things you need, go in the house and double check.” Star went inside while Bear stood there. “Do you know where the bus station is in Knoxville RJ.”
“No Bear, would you mind guiding me there?” At first Bear looked at me bewildered, then he said, “No Problem.” Bear went inside to watch Star get the rest of her things. Bear then gave Star money. Star said, “he isn’t going with us is he RJ?” Bear said, “I know the way there, he has to take me.” “Fine, let us ride!” Bear got in the vehicle while Star hugged me with tears in her eyes.
“You have everything you need” I whispered while embraced. As Star said yes I discreetly stuck a little cash in her pocket. “Get in.”
“The text today is from Titus 2:1-15…deny ungodliness and worldly desires and live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age. As the word says, encourage women to love their husbands, to be sensible, pure, kind, being subject to their own husbands…Older women should not be malicious gossips enslaved to much wine, but teaching what is good.”
The old preacher put down his bible and went on “before their can be submission on the part of a woman to a man, that man must be in submission to God! If a man cannot be the example of Christ in his work, in his home, or in his Church its because he doesn’t have the ‘image’ of Christ in his heart. To have Christ in your heart, ye must let go of this world and its example and take up Christ.
The woman cannot submit to the man unless that man has submitted to Almighty God through Jesus Christ.” Then the old preacher broke hard on both men and women preaching in the old style of the Circuit Riders of the 1860’s. “We cannot be hypocrites, Jeezus (misspelled for emphasis) said ‘But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God: but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.’”
The old preacher finished up essentially saying “if you’re the man and you can’t lead she won’t follow…and woman if you can’t follow, lead…lead your household to God through Christ.” After Church, the congregation had a potluck dinner in the recreation area in the basement of the Church. All the women asked Star who I was and where her husband was at and she tactfully dodged the husband issue noting he was handicapped.
It was a rainy Sunday Morning when we got back from Church and found Bear where he usually is, watching Western’s. Star jumped on the computer and Bear’s eyes rolled back in his head like an odometer turning 100,000. Bear said “she is being a bitch…what about Sunday dinner Star?” Star eventually got off the computer and prepared dinner. She cooked pork chops, baked a cake and worked on a strawberry desert but spilled it on the kitchen floor when she heard her phone ring.
Star took the call and quickly ended it. Bear looked like a madman as he got up from the table going off on Star. Again, I got everybody calm, Star cleaned up the spill, we prayed and we ate. After dinner they asked if we can talk about Star leaving, about how it should be done, and what emotional as well as financial issues that will come up. Both agreed that preparations needed to be made to protect both of them.
“Star, while we are having this meeting I will ask that you not answer your phone or participate in Second Life…can you do that?” “OK RJ! I just don’t need to be shouted at or talked to like a dog.” “Bear, can we do that?” “Yeah RJ.” Bear calmly but emotionally noted his concerns, then Star spoke up. “I’m tired of being the blame for all that’s wrong around here, my needs are not being met and I can’t expect you to meet them Bear.”
“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN BITCH!” Bear said as he stood up wobbling on his swollen bad leg. I shot Bear a look as I sat at the table with him and Star. Bear sat down as Star now had a cold defiance that was evident in her body language. “Remember Bear, you asked her…now you need to hear the answer, OK? “OK RJ! Star spoke soft, slow and cold. “I need a man that can be a man…in bed, in Church, in here.”
“I need a man with a dick that gets and stays hard, I need satisfaction but more than sex I need a man that encourages me, that will go places and will treat me like a woman, not like a slave whore bitch.” Star said, “I’m tired of being verbally violated, demeaned and emotionally raped.” Star went on about Bear being corpulent and some things about his personal hygiene I really didn’t want to hear but they asked me to mediate this ‘session’.
When Star finished Bear responded.
“I put a roof over your head, when we had money we went out and did things, I bought you everything you needed. When you left me the first time for RayRay at the supermarket I swallowed my pride and took you back even though your neighbors told me you were fucking the neighborhood. I sold my rifles and other stuff to pay your bills and this is what I get…Fuck You. RJ came here to renew our vows and you broke them…again.”
“You broke them first Bear” said Star, “you broke the love and cherish part.” “OK! Bear, Star, since its apparent that this time things are torn to bad to mend I ask that you both take time to make a list of things that each of you need to do so Star can leave with dignity and you Bear can find some solace knowing that you can survive here. Alright?
They both agreed Bear got a pad and pen, Star got on the computer and brought up Second Life. That evening as Bear was now on the computer, Star and I spoke for two hours. “RJ, he gets crazy mad sometimes and I am scared he will shoot me.” “Did he ever say that?” “Not with words, but with deeds RJ…I have a recurring dream that he shoots me and I end up a cripple for life. I also see Bear having one leg…I can’t stay.”
“How does this sit with your ‘Christianity’ you just got baptized into the Church but I noticed the Wicca books, the smell of sandalwood and other weird stuff. Who are you attempting to cast a spell on?” Star looked at me and denied practicing witchcraft but she did say that she and Terry did some ‘circles’ in Second Life. Knowing exactly what that meant I asked her how she can have a dual personality without one world or life intruding on the other. Star said “I can have anything in Second Life, I can have anything if I leave here.”
That night Bear went to bed early. Star stayed on the computer most of the night.
Things were tense Monday and Tuesday but all was civil and manageable. Bear and me did some driving and some sight seeing. Bear, Star and myself planned to go out on Wednesday night to a club for some fun and entertainment. But Tuesday afternoon all started to go down hill. Bear and I came back from riding to Cades Cove looking at wildlife, Star was on the computer in Second Life. Bear got mad.
Some of the neighbors came by including the Welder to say high and share some moonshine. Star was out on the deck with me and her neighbor Regan, a woman who worked at the hospital, who joined us for some beer and having a good time. After the Welder and Regan left Star and I did some more talking when Bear got on the computer. Then a phone call on the cell to Star from Terry. Bear, though on the computer, listened to Star on the phone.
Star was telling Terry how much she loved him and how she couldn’t wait to see him. They were laughing and intimate when Bear shouted to Star as I sat with her while she was on the phone. “HEY, the medication I’m on has been recalled by the FDA, it has side effects, you hear me?” I said “Yeah Bear, that medication can cause real bad mood swings.” Bear looked back at Star who was listening to Terry, not Bear.
“Can you tell your little boy to call back, this is important?” Star asked Terry to hold on and put down the phone. She walked over to Bear and said “Why is this important now? I’m talking to Terry, we can talk about your medication later.” Star picked up the phone and continued her conversation. Star spoke about seeing him again and got off the call. Bear said, “You have to rub it in my face, flirting on the phone and all.”
Star looked at him and said, “I’m discussing how I’m going to get to Louisiana in a few weeks and how to plan things out. He and I were talking about transportation, I might take a bus.” Bear blew up, “your little 26 year old boy can’t come and get you?” Terry called back while Bear was talking to Star. Bear realizing it was Terry shouted so he could here, “IF YOU WERE A MAN YOU LITTLE FAGGOT COCKSUCKER YOU WOULD COME UP HERE AND GET HER, YOU HERE ME FAGGOT?”
Star went out on the deck to continue the conversation which she quickly ended and confronted Bear about shouting to Terry. The fireworks started, “Look Bear, that’s the bullshit I’m talking about, you have no respect for me at all…” “BITCH, YOU THROW THIS SHIT IN MY FACE AND SAY I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOU? YOU CAN GET OUT NOW….GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW! PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO! "
I said, “STOP IT, both of you. Stop it.” Star pointed, “RJ, look at him.” Bears eyes were wild, fist clenched, face pale and now sweating like a pig. “Bear, you need to sit down.” “Don’t fucking tell me what to do RJ…this is my house and I want her gone.” Star disappeared into the bedroom and locked the door. “Bear, I’m not telling you what to do, I’m trying to get you calm, you look like your on the verge of a heart attack.”
Star reappeared a half hour later in leather jacket, black pants, black shirt with a bag packed. “Where you going bitch?” “Bear, Terry heard everything you said, RJ sees how your acting too, you want me gone…Terry bought me a bus ticket. I’m going to Knoxville now.” “How you getting there? You better not ask the neighbors, not the welder, not Skippy, not anybody Bitch!” “I’ll hitchhike!”
Skippy was outside the back door and had heard a whole lot, like most of the neighborhood. Star walked outside and Bear was right behind her. Skippy said “Its 30 miles or so to Knoxville, these backwoods roads are too dangerous, you could end up raped or dead before you even get to Alcoa.” Bear smiled, “Lets see your boy toy come and get you now!” Star snapped, “I’ll get to Knoxville or die trying, I’m done Bear.”
I was watching the psychological bondage that both Bear and Star were in, the fear, the vindictiveness, it could only get worse if she stayed. Her safety was at risk if she left on foot. “Star, I’ll take you. Do you indeed have a bus ticket?” “Yes RJ, I do.” I said, “Make sure you have the things you need, go in the house and double check.” Star went inside while Bear stood there. “Do you know where the bus station is in Knoxville RJ.”
“No Bear, would you mind guiding me there?” At first Bear looked at me bewildered, then he said, “No Problem.” Bear went inside to watch Star get the rest of her things. Bear then gave Star money. Star said, “he isn’t going with us is he RJ?” Bear said, “I know the way there, he has to take me.” “Fine, let us ride!” Bear got in the vehicle while Star hugged me with tears in her eyes.
“You have everything you need” I whispered while embraced. As Star said yes I discreetly stuck a little cash in her pocket. “Get in.” Star got in the back, Bear sat up front with me. The ride was very quiet. We asked some college students in Knoxville for some directions when we got into the area.
We were less than a block away. We waited for the Bus Station to open, when it did, Star disappeared through the bus station door when it opened at 4:30 am, waiving at both of us.
We took off back for the hills at in the predawn darkness. Now indeed begins Stars ‘Second Life’. Now we would wait to hear if she arrived safely.
More of this saga to come.
RJ
I hope for God's sake that this really is fiction. If this has happened to a couple or a family as described in this blog it is a real bad situation.
ReplyDeleteThe people in this story sound very 'disfunctional' but screwed up people seem to find each other even in real life. I hope this is well written fiction. If this really happened then the whole of society needs to look at virtual reality gaming.
I interpret dreams: Whats the meaning of the shooting dream and the one leg/loss of limb dream. This is what we experts say:
ReplyDeleteSomeone shooting you means that you are being victimized and having confrontations in your waking life.
Dreaming of yourself becoming crippled/handicapped (this goes for dreaming of someone else becoming crippled or handicapped also) means you feel, realize and are ashamed of your own weakness and neediness.
You are confronted with many challenges and need to utilize your full potential. Alternatively, it also suggests that you are becoming too arrogant for you own good and need to be more humble.
Dreaming that your legs are wounded or crippled means you have a lack of balance, autonomy or independence. You are unwilling or unable to stand up for yourself and you lack the courage to or refuse to take a stand.
Her dream makes some sense now, doesn't it?
Why didn't RJ just leave? Why not let these lowlife loosers kill each other? Eastern Tennessee is nice and has some great places to go see.
ReplyDeleteRJ's gotta be a nut case for staying around that bullshit.
I am a casual fan of this blog and I am a psychiatrist. With all the issues that this particular post brings up I am intrigued that no mention is made about "Bear" and his past. Why is he not going to 'Church' with his wife?
ReplyDeleteIt seems that there are many things that this blog brings up about 'Second Life' but little about how and why Star got there. Where is the Church in support of the family?