Second Lies - The Finish

Virtual Depravity - The Departure

It was a cloudy Wednesday…all afternoon long we rode around the countryside as Bear vented. He was understandably angry, for the second time in three years his wife left him and this time most likely for good.

After getting back from Knoxville we passed out till afternoon when we made a little trip through the back hills along the river. It was sitting at a spot along the river Bear made his lament.

“I know it takes two to have a relationship and it takes two to wreck one…but I didn’t believe she was gonna do anything because she was always on the fuckin computer.” Bear then went off on how to proceed with a divorce, how to rearrange his finances, how to work on his home, how to deal with Star in the future, all the while his face getting pale as a sheet of paper. “Bear, why don’t we head on back, you look like you need rest.”

“RJ, we still haven’t heard from her, we don’t know what the fuck is going on?” Then as if on cue, my cell phone rings. “RJ, its Star, how is ‘he’ doing?” “Bear is right hear, you wanna talk to him yourself?” “Not right now RJ” “Where are you Star?” “I’m in Atlanta right now leaving for Louisiana” “You couldn’t get a straight shot to your final destination Star?” “No, I’ll call to let you know my progress.” Bear looked at me quizzically.

“Star, have you heard from Terry? Have you worked out when you will arrive and will he be there to pick you up?” “Of course RJ,…don’t worry, I’m going to be fine…tell Bear I love him” “No Star, tell him yourself” “I got to go RJ, I will call later.” Bear looked at me and asked “Tell me what RJ? “She loves you.” Bear now started to regain color to his face as his anger caused his blood pressure to rise.

We picked up some food at the Hillbilly Holler Po’ Dunk and took off into the hills going to Bear’s house. Afternoon passed into night, Bear stayed busy between the computer and phone calls to some of the neighbors.

Skippy came over to motivate Bear, keeping his spirits up by telling anti-feminist jokes and talking about Hooters. Bear was obviously elsewhere mentally…worried about Star.

My phone rang again about 10:30 Wednesday night. It was Star, “I’m in Mobile, Alabama RJ and will arrive in Lafayette about 4:30 am…Terry will be there to get me.” “Star, if you get there and things are not what they seem to be or you feel that you are in some danger call me or Bear so we can guide you from there” “RJ, I will call you if anything is weird, I won’t call Bear until I know I am safe and settled.”

“Listen Star, this situation is very, very dangerous…from my vantage point you are acting on promises made in a virtual world that may have no validity in the real world or the here and now…be careful, be very careful.” “You worry too much RJ…I know Terry, we have shared so much…but I will let you know if anything is not right.” “How is Bear holding up.” “Just fine Star, he is concerned for your safety too.”

“I gotta go RJ, bye.” Bear was looking at me waiting for the report. I told him she was in Mobile, Alabama on her way to Lafayette and what I said to do if things are not what they were made out to be. “This fucking asshole Terry got her the cheapest fucking ticket…it doesn’t take all day and a night to get to Louisiana.” Bear puffed on his cigar while clutching his gut, obviously in pain. I didn’t sleep well that night, nor did Bear.

Thursday morning I read a text message from Star that she was picked up by Terry at the Lafayette Bus Station and that she would call later. I told Bear when he woke up. “How do we know this guy isn’t raping the shit out of her, how do we know he didn’t take her phone away, how do we know if she isn’t in an emergency room somewhere or worse.” Bear was flustered, conflicted and dismayed.

About an hour later Star called and she was elated, “RJ, I’m OK, I’m safe and Terry is here with me now. Its more than I expected. We just had breakfast and this is wonderful, I’m very, very happy.”

Then Terry got on the phone and introduced himself and let me know that she was safe and that he would give me his address via e-mail when they got some rest. “Sir, I know that this whole thing is most irregular but I do love Star and will do the best I can.”

“Terry, how do you know so much about each other without ever meeting until now? How can you really commit to love when all you know is the ‘Second Life’ world? Help me understand just a little Terry.” “RJ, she captivated me, she intoxicated me, she seduced me and I guess I did the same to her.” “Do take care of her and do have a good relationship with each other, do you hear Terry?” Terry said “Yes sir, you are awesome”. I told Bear about the conversation, he turned pale and went to the bathroom.

I was told to avoid stress at all costs. I was told to go someplace to relax. I was told my blood pressure is near uncontrollable. When I took my blood pressure as I do every day it was higher than abnormal even when I take my medication. I took more meds. I thought about this whole mess and asked myself the dumb question. Why didn’t Star tell me about leaving Bear before I came down here?

I had to ask myself was it for her safety she did this while I was here or for Bear’s safety? (Star can shoot damn well for a city chick) Did Star make up her mind to leave Bear when she met Terry online or did she make up her mind to leave Bear when the letter from the Neo-Nazi’s wench came to the house? (Oh, the letter involved a court case Bear won against a Neo-Nazi for property damage and allegations about Star’s conduct).

I took more medication and sat down passing out on the couch. Later that night I prepped everything I needed to pack up on Friday. I had to send something I brought to diagnose Bear’s PC problems back to New York. I couldn’t wait to get away from this confusion, from the pain, from the bitterness and the obvious deceit. What a vacation. I will lock my ass in my house for several days with a bible, a bottle and my meds when I get back.

Friday morning Bear and I had got up early it was lightly overcast. Bear ranted on about the timetable of Star’s ‘plan’ and attempted to put together conspiracies, noticing how he figured she was playing his friends against each other and how she attempted to blame him for everything. Then Bear said something to the effect “may God smack me down if I’m the one who did everything wrong.” Right away things started to happen.

The sky turned pitch black and the Emergency Broadcast System put out a thunderstorm warning with high winds for the county. Lightning struck trees as water came down in a torrential flood lasting about half an hour.

Bear scrambled through his house closing windows. The cat had got into the house just before the rain started and it wined continuously for about 15 minutes. Bear’s dogs trembled under the couch.

I looked at Bear and said “Be careful not to ask God for much concerning Star.” Bear laughed thinking I was making a joke. I wasn’t. The rain slowed and turned to a mist and the sun broke out between the clouds as a rainbow appeared in the sky. It lasted all about two or three minutes and disappeared. Bear proceeded to talk about God, Star and what he believed would happen to Star. By that time Skippy came over.

We all jumped in my rented SUV and headed into town. “You know what, sickness or death could happen to Star for what she did…got baptized, did witchcraft and now she’s blaming this on me…may whatever bad is coming her way get to her.” I said, “Bear, she’s still your wife, the two are still one flesh, whatever you put out comes back to you in some way…be careful with what’s in your heart.”

“God Almighty, give me a sign because I know I’m right” said Bear. We were going up hill on the downhill side was the road we were to turn on.

At the corner of the road was a Church with a cemetery. On the edge of the green country cemetery were three rows of empty metal chairs before a deep dark grave with a casket eerily uncovered out in the open with not a living soul insight as a dark cloud passed over when we made the turn. I prayed for myself. I thought about Bear’s heart. I said “Hey Bear, there’s your sign!”

Skippy started to shudder. We went to the General Store where Bear picked up a bunch of things for the house. We went back the same way we came as dark clouds passed over the sky. Bear noticed that the new guard rail on the road back had been hit and something was at the bottom of the ravine. It was an accident just day’s old. As we again passed the Old Church Cemetery the casket and chairs were still in the same place.

As the cloud passed over a big bird with large wings circled the graveyard as lightning flashed in the distance. “I wonder what that sign means” said Bear. “Whatever it is it caint be good” said Skippy, now ghost white pale as we hit the main road back. I just prayed for myself and plead mercy from Almighty God.

Later that afternoon Star called Bear on his house phone. It was a civil call. Star asked him to send her clothing and some personal items because she left so quickly she didn’t have what she needed. Star had two job interviews in her new seaside home on the Louisiana part of the Gulf.

“Is the guy for real Star, can he take care of you” said Bear? “We can take care of each other Bear” Bear’s face crinkled in anger as he shook his head. “That’s good, your box will be packed and sent on Monday.” I walked away so they could talk in private. After the call I asked Bear about the face he made. “She is the one who is the problem child, I put her in her place like my Dad did me” said Bear. “When did she stop being your wife and become your child?” Bear looked at me, put up his hands puffing away on his cigar.

I thought about the sign. Bear and I went to UPS Store, got a box and returned to his house. On the way Bear again revisited conspiracies, the Second Lifer cult and the whole world of virtual gaming. “What does God think of this RJ? How does this sit with the Bible? A baptized Southern Christian adulteress, what about it RJ?”

“I would never dare assume to guess the mind of Almighty God, but being baptized she is under the blood of Christ, even as a sinner, because Christ died for that very reason…sin. So I say what we need to do is pray, ask God for guidance and seek healing and forgiveness Bear.” Bear shook his head, “I don’t think she’s asking God for forgiveness, she’s blaming me…may God be my witness, I am not wrong.”

As we pulled up to Bear’s house the sky flowed with dark clouds coming down from the mountain. Bear turned on the TV and the Emergency Broadcast System now had a tornado warning for the whole county, giving instructions on how to hide and survive.

The sky turned pitch black as lightning flashed, thunder roared and the wind howled whipping the rain horizontal against houses, cars and trees.

I asked God not to let me suffer if he’s out to get Bear. I came for a vacation, not to witness judgment at the hand of God. As the wind and rain hit the house the dogs jumped on Bear and stayed with him trembling. The storm again passed and the TV reported the damage throughout the county. Again I told Bear, “don’t drag God into this demanding vengeance, God has a way of giving you what you ask in ways you can’t imagine.”

Saturday morning I left Bear and he was quite sad and quite angry. Star is living her second life fantasy in reality, Bear is living his only life with pain, loneliness and despair...again.

RJ

Second Lies 2

Virtual Depravity Part 2

Welcome brother, how are you? The old Deacon smiled joyfully as he greeted me, shaking my hand at Backwoods Baptist Church.

Star introduced me to Deacon Wright and other members of the congregation.

The Church was celebrating its 50th anniversary and the preacher today was the former Pastor of the Church the fiery Rev. Jack McMaster. After the Choir sang, the preacher got started.

“The text today is from Titus 2:1-15…deny ungodliness and worldly desires and live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age. As the word says, encourage women to love their husbands, to be sensible, pure, kind, being subject to their own husbands…Older women should not be malicious gossips enslaved to much wine, but teaching what is good.”

The old preacher put down his bible and went on “before their can be submission on the part of a woman to a man, that man must be in submission to God! If a man cannot be the example of Christ in his work, in his home, or in his Church its because he doesn’t have the ‘image’ of Christ in his heart. To have Christ in your heart, ye must let go of this world and its example and take up Christ.

The woman cannot submit to the man unless that man has submitted to Almighty God through Jesus Christ.” Then the old preacher broke hard on both men and women preaching in the old style of the Circuit Riders of the 1860’s. “We cannot be hypocrites, Jeezus (misspelled for emphasis) said ‘But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God: but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.’”

The old preacher finished up essentially saying “if you’re the man and you can’t lead she won’t follow…and woman if you can’t follow, lead…lead your household to God through Christ.” After Church, the congregation had a potluck dinner in the recreation area in the basement of the Church. All the women asked Star who I was and where her husband was at and she tactfully dodged the husband issue noting he was handicapped.

It was a rainy Sunday Morning when we got back from Church and found Bear where he usually is, watching Western’s. Star jumped on the computer and Bear’s eyes rolled back in his head like an odometer turning 100,000. Bear said “she is being a bitch…what about Sunday dinner Star?” Star eventually got off the computer and prepared dinner. She cooked pork chops, baked a cake and worked on a strawberry desert but spilled it on the kitchen floor when she heard her phone ring.

Star took the call and quickly ended it. Bear looked like a madman as he got up from the table going off on Star. Again, I got everybody calm, Star cleaned up the spill, we prayed and we ate. After dinner they asked if we can talk about Star leaving, about how it should be done, and what emotional as well as financial issues that will come up. Both agreed that preparations needed to be made to protect both of them.

“Star, while we are having this meeting I will ask that you not answer your phone or participate in Second Life…can you do that?” “OK RJ! I just don’t need to be shouted at or talked to like a dog.” “Bear, can we do that?” “Yeah RJ.” Bear calmly but emotionally noted his concerns, then Star spoke up. “I’m tired of being the blame for all that’s wrong around here, my needs are not being met and I can’t expect you to meet them Bear.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN BITCH!” Bear said as he stood up wobbling on his swollen bad leg. I shot Bear a look as I sat at the table with him and Star. Bear sat down as Star now had a cold defiance that was evident in her body language. “Remember Bear, you asked her…now you need to hear the answer, OK? “OK RJ! Star spoke soft, slow and cold. “I need a man that can be a man…in bed, in Church, in here.”

“I need a man with a dick that gets and stays hard, I need satisfaction but more than sex I need a man that encourages me, that will go places and will treat me like a woman, not like a slave whore bitch.” Star said, “I’m tired of being verbally violated, demeaned and emotionally raped.” Star went on about Bear being corpulent and some things about his personal hygiene I really didn’t want to hear but they asked me to mediate this ‘session’.
When Star finished Bear responded.

“I put a roof over your head, when we had money we went out and did things, I bought you everything you needed. When you left me the first time for RayRay at the supermarket I swallowed my pride and took you back even though your neighbors told me you were fucking the neighborhood. I sold my rifles and other stuff to pay your bills and this is what I get…Fuck You. RJ came here to renew our vows and you broke them…again.”

“You broke them first Bear” said Star, “you broke the love and cherish part.” “OK! Bear, Star, since its apparent that this time things are torn to bad to mend I ask that you both take time to make a list of things that each of you need to do so Star can leave with dignity and you Bear can find some solace knowing that you can survive here. Alright?

They both agreed Bear got a pad and pen, Star got on the computer and brought up Second Life. That evening as Bear was now on the computer, Star and I spoke for two hours. “RJ, he gets crazy mad sometimes and I am scared he will shoot me.” “Did he ever say that?” “Not with words, but with deeds RJ…I have a recurring dream that he shoots me and I end up a cripple for life. I also see Bear having one leg…I can’t stay.”

“How does this sit with your ‘Christianity’ you just got baptized into the Church but I noticed the Wicca books, the smell of sandalwood and other weird stuff. Who are you attempting to cast a spell on?” Star looked at me and denied practicing witchcraft but she did say that she and Terry did some ‘circles’ in Second Life. Knowing exactly what that meant I asked her how she can have a dual personality without one world or life intruding on the other. Star said “I can have anything in Second Life, I can have anything if I leave here.”

That night Bear went to bed early. Star stayed on the computer most of the night.
Things were tense Monday and Tuesday but all was civil and manageable. Bear and me did some driving and some sight seeing. Bear, Star and myself planned to go out on Wednesday night to a club for some fun and entertainment. But Tuesday afternoon all started to go down hill. Bear and I came back from riding to Cades Cove looking at wildlife, Star was on the computer in Second Life. Bear got mad.

Some of the neighbors came by including the Welder to say high and share some moonshine. Star was out on the deck with me and her neighbor Regan, a woman who worked at the hospital, who joined us for some beer and having a good time. After the Welder and Regan left Star and I did some more talking when Bear got on the computer. Then a phone call on the cell to Star from Terry. Bear, though on the computer, listened to Star on the phone.

Star was telling Terry how much she loved him and how she couldn’t wait to see him. They were laughing and intimate when Bear shouted to Star as I sat with her while she was on the phone. “HEY, the medication I’m on has been recalled by the FDA, it has side effects, you hear me?” I said “Yeah Bear, that medication can cause real bad mood swings.” Bear looked back at Star who was listening to Terry, not Bear.

“Can you tell your little boy to call back, this is important?” Star asked Terry to hold on and put down the phone. She walked over to Bear and said “Why is this important now? I’m talking to Terry, we can talk about your medication later.” Star picked up the phone and continued her conversation. Star spoke about seeing him again and got off the call. Bear said, “You have to rub it in my face, flirting on the phone and all.”

Star looked at him and said, “I’m discussing how I’m going to get to Louisiana in a few weeks and how to plan things out. He and I were talking about transportation, I might take a bus.” Bear blew up, “your little 26 year old boy can’t come and get you?” Terry called back while Bear was talking to Star. Bear realizing it was Terry shouted so he could here, “IF YOU WERE A MAN YOU LITTLE FAGGOT COCKSUCKER YOU WOULD COME UP HERE AND GET HER, YOU HERE ME FAGGOT?”

Star went out on the deck to continue the conversation which she quickly ended and confronted Bear about shouting to Terry. The fireworks started, “Look Bear, that’s the bullshit I’m talking about, you have no respect for me at all…” “BITCH, YOU THROW THIS SHIT IN MY FACE AND SAY I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOU? YOU CAN GET OUT NOW….GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW! PACK YOUR SHIT AND GO! "

I said, “STOP IT, both of you. Stop it.” Star pointed, “RJ, look at him.” Bears eyes were wild, fist clenched, face pale and now sweating like a pig. “Bear, you need to sit down.” “Don’t fucking tell me what to do RJ…this is my house and I want her gone.” Star disappeared into the bedroom and locked the door. “Bear, I’m not telling you what to do, I’m trying to get you calm, you look like your on the verge of a heart attack.”


Star reappeared a half hour later in leather jacket, black pants, black shirt with a bag packed. “Where you going bitch?” “Bear, Terry heard everything you said, RJ sees how your acting too, you want me gone…Terry bought me a bus ticket. I’m going to Knoxville now.” “How you getting there? You better not ask the neighbors, not the welder, not Skippy, not anybody Bitch!” “I’ll hitchhike!”

Skippy was outside the back door and had heard a whole lot, like most of the neighborhood. Star walked outside and Bear was right behind her. Skippy said “Its 30 miles or so to Knoxville, these backwoods roads are too dangerous, you could end up raped or dead before you even get to Alcoa.” Bear smiled, “Lets see your boy toy come and get you now!” Star snapped, “I’ll get to Knoxville or die trying, I’m done Bear.”

I was watching the psychological bondage that both Bear and Star were in, the fear, the vindictiveness, it could only get worse if she stayed. Her safety was at risk if she left on foot. “Star, I’ll take you. Do you indeed have a bus ticket?” “Yes RJ, I do.” I said, “Make sure you have the things you need, go in the house and double check.” Star went inside while Bear stood there. “Do you know where the bus station is in Knoxville RJ.”

“No Bear, would you mind guiding me there?” At first Bear looked at me bewildered, then he said, “No Problem.” Bear went inside to watch Star get the rest of her things. Bear then gave Star money. Star said, “he isn’t going with us is he RJ?” Bear said, “I know the way there, he has to take me.” “Fine, let us ride!” Bear got in the vehicle while Star hugged me with tears in her eyes.

“You have everything you need” I whispered while embraced. As Star said yes I discreetly stuck a little cash in her pocket. “Get in.”

Star got in the back, Bear sat up front with me. The ride was very quiet. We asked some college students in Knoxville for some directions when we got into the area.

We were less than a block away. We waited for the Bus Station to open, when it did, Star disappeared through the bus station door when it opened at 4:30 am, waiving at both of us.

We took off back for the hills at in the predawn darkness. Now indeed begins Stars ‘Second Life’. Now we would wait to hear if she arrived safely.

More of this saga to come.

RJ

Second Lies

Virtual Depravity (Part 1)

"Look RJ, your supposed to be relaxing so do that when you get to Tennessee and stop worrying about bullshit." As NF drove me up to the airport entrance he again told me to "have a good time".

The flight was typically crowded and non-eventful. Saturday afternoon was good. I landed in Knoxville and found my way to Bear’s place up in the hills. Bear and Star greeted me and we went shopping.

While in the local ‘Kroeger’s, (Bear stayed in the car) Star dropped a bombshell. "I’m going to leave Bear…I can’t go on here RJ." "When do you plan to tell him this and why wait till I got here to do this?" "Listen RJ, you’re his spiritual advisor as well as his best friend, I’m gonna tell him after Church on Sunday." "Star you need to tell him right away, don’t drag me into any bullshit, by the way where do you plan to go?"

"RJ, I told you about my new friends in ‘SECOND LIFE’, and I also have a lover their too." "Star that’s a virtual reality game played with avatars, are you serious?" "Yeah!" After we did our shopping I got quiet in the SUV I rented. Bear went on and on about Fort Louden, the Civil War sites in the area and other points of interest.

When we got back to Bear’s the tension was palpable. Star got on the computer and logged into ‘SECOND LIFE’ then brought up this avatar that looked like a model or an Amazonian Barbie doll that represented her to her virtual community. In her virtual world she could directly interact with other avatars that represented real people. They had virtual bars, virtual homes, virtual cars, virtual pets, could have virtual sex and could make and spend virtual money you can only get if you have real money to exchange.

She talked to everyone in her virtual world via her headset with attached microphone. She met with a male avatar who was her new lover ‘virtually’ which she wanted to get with in reality. "His name is Evanzer" said Star as Bear got the goods in the fridge and asked Star if she was going to join us for dinner (Bear was pissed) Star got off of the game and sat at the table with us for dinner.

After I half ate I looked at her and said "you and Bear need to talk, I’m going outside." They both said "no, please sit with us". Bear looked straight at Star and said "you must think I’m totally stupid…I know what’s going on." "Bear, I have to leave, I can’t stand this place anymore, I can’t be with you in any way shape or form." "Where you gonna go Star?" Bear’s face was sheet white with disbelief.

"Terry said I could stay with him for a while, he lives in Louisiana. He said he could get me a job close to where he lives and help me get a driver’s license." "Who the fuck is Terry" Bear’s eyes were getting bigger as his pupils got smaller. As he listened to the rest of what is obviously bad news. "Terry is Evanzer in ‘SECOND LIFE’ we have had an ongoing relationship for several weeks."

Bear was obviously having problems with this news, now his neck and ears were turning bright red. Bear asked Star "have you ever met this guy in person?" Star, shaking her half empty bottle of Wild Turkey said "No" as she removed the cap and drank straight from the bottle. Bear looked at me and said "she has been on the computer for nearly 10 hours every day for weeks on this fucking ‘SECOND LIFE’ game."

I had to interject some questions so I could understand this a little better. I had all kinds of things going through my head so I asked Star to lighten up and please help me "see what you see." "Star, how do you know what this guy looks like?" "He posted a picture of himself in ‘SECOND LIFE’ and I have it on the wall of my house." ‘This house’ I asked? "No, my house in ‘SECOND LIFE’. Bear got up to go to the bathroom.

Star got up and ran to the computer, she waved me over and showed me her virtual world, her virtual house, all of Terry’s pictures which only showed a face and two of the three were soft blurred (definitely altered).

When Bear came back to the table I asked Star to join us there. She declined as she was now on her cell phone talking to Terry. "You really think I’m stupid, your gonna plot and scheme and think I know nothing?" Bear said this his voice steadily raising as he fixed a laser like stare on Star.

I jumped in this conversation again to get Bear to remain rational (only the local armory had more hunting gear than Bear). "Star, let me ask you…how do you know that the pictures of this guy Terry in ‘SECOND LIFE’ is really him?"

"We have been swapping pictures for a while, its him" Star said as if nothing else could be true. Tell me how did you get money to buy a house and property in this virtual world."

"I work for it, I’m a level’s advisor and have a class on "gestures and protocol" where I get paid in dollars that I can convert to ‘Lindens’ (Linden are ‘SECOND LIFE’ dollars). That’s how I have such nice stuff." I looked at Bear who now stared at Star as a prison guard looks at a mental patient. "Star, these avatars that are the creations of these ‘people’, they don’t necessarily have to represent themselves as they are do they?"

"What are you asking RJ?" "If a man created a female avatar and interacts in your world as a white female lets say looking real young and real hot but is actually a 6’6" black man with a sex offender rap sheet you wouldn’t know it would you? Star thought about it for a few seconds and said that "Linden Labs" has ways of knowing that. "Yeah, is Linden Labs under any obligation to disclose that to you and the other Second Lifers, are they?

"I guess not. But so what? RJ, this game is about having fun virtually you can do anything here you can do with people." So I understand your avatars can have virtual sex in your virtual world is that right?" "All the time and the graphics are great RJ." So you are voyeurs as well as participants in hardcore porn living a real personal fantasy in a two dimensional fake world. Right Star? "It’s fun."

It seems to me that you enjoy virtual sex, virtual clubbing and virtual interaction but do you really know who is controlling the image being projected into this pseudo-world? Do you really know Terry? "I know he loves me" said Star as she puffed away on her third or fourth cigarette. Bear stood up and eyes beady and bright white, "How long you been plotting this and why now? Why when RJ comes to visit?"

"I wanted to tell RJ like I’m telling you…to your face. I also wanted you to have someone hear to support you spiritually. I know this hurts you…but I have to go." "Star, is Terry still on the phone?" "Yes RJ!" "Do you mind if we talk without leaving him there in limbo, kinda rude, aint it? Star hung up with Terry as Bear continued to stare down Star with unreal intensity.

"When did you plan to leave" Bear said slowly. "I figure I need about a month to get things together" said Star in a "matter of fact" kind of way. Before Bear could get out another word I said "look it’s Saturday Night, lets all leave this subject for tomorrow night. If you want me there, I will only be there to council both of you. If one or both of you can’t deal with what I have to say, I will step back and let you guys work it out."

"Work out what RJ, the bitch said she’s leaving right?" "Bear, you guys need to talk through a whole lot of stuff before she goes anywhere, for her sake as well as yours, OK!" "I’m going to bed RJ" Bear stared at Star like she was an object before he went into the bedroom and shut the door. "Star, I do believe you seriously need to consult someone professionally about what your feeling."

"RJ, I been to Rehab several times as well as AA and dealt with therapists, I’m not going down that road anymore." "Is there any chance of you staying in Tennessee with anybody else for a little while, until you had time to think this through? Star looked at me with a gleam in her eye and said, "I’ve been thinking this through for a long time." "Why now Star?" "Because nothing will happen to me while you’re here RJ."

"Good Night Star, lets be ready for Church and be honestly sober for after Church."

To be continued!

RJ