Are We Going Crazy: Mental Illness Surveillance

Mental Illness Surveillance: An Epidemic or a Social Disease?

Non-Fiction - Editorial

When we think of mental illness we all flash to the iconic scene in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” where Randle McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) is rolling down the insane asylum corridor tied or duck taped to a desk chair after being lobotomized.  

But we need to look at how mental illness manifests itself and the instances of mental illness are growing at an alarming rate.

The ‘effects’ of mental illness has its affect, not only on the person suffering but everyone around him or her.  We can all think of countless encounters with people who seem to have a constant ‘bad attitude’, ‘blue mood’ or angry and aggressive way of behaving.  Nightspots are a good place to go people watching.  Bars seem to be where anyone who is a ‘bad ass’ or an ‘asshole’ gravitates to.

But the problem is even deeper than the bottle that people dive into to avoid the onset of mental illness.  It’s a fact that inordinate or constant stress or duress, mental or physical can bring on many forms of mental illness in which we all seem to self medicate so we can vehemently deny having a mental illness.  

Some people suffer from anxiety, depression, bipolar and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) to name a few types of mental illness.

 

Why is this important or relevant to the ‘nightlife’ or bar scene?  Well, in this decade we have seen an uptick in bar violence, dangerous behavior, crimes on both persons and property and most relevantly, the increased use of prescribed medication to handle the problem of mental illness in any one of its many forms.

I bring this up because I thought about all the folks who used to hang out and are dead because everyone noticed the behavior but no one questioned why ‘him, her or they’ acted the way they did.  A few years ago I knew a bartender who was kind of wild, she was good looking and totally uninhibited.  When she died, I discovered she was a Jewish woman from a strict Jewish family.

As I expressed my condolences as they did sit Shiva for their wild young daughter who passed away from a toxic mixture of prescription drugs and alcohol, I discovered that she was fighting more than the demons of alcohol.  Her ‘boyfriend’ was a gentile and her family did not approve of that.  In fact, she had been all but ‘kicked out’ of her family’s life and was trying to find a way to cope; She didn’t!

There are many more examples of people we know who ‘changed’ after the death of a loved one.  I know a man who put himself in a psychiatric hospital after the death of his dog.  There are many stresses that we go through in life and some events will bring on ‘mental illnesses’.  So how does this ‘epidemic’ affect all of us normal people?

Oh yeah, I said ‘epidemic’! Right about now you are asking, ‘who said mental illness was an epidemic’?  When I was at a local watering hole, a Doctor told me that mental illness was ‘epidemic’.  I of course asked where the fuck did he get that information?  The Doctor said, “the CDC”.  So being the naturally curious fool that I am, I checked out the CDC web site and learned the following:

According to the CDC; “The term mental illness refers collectively to all diagnosable mental disorders. Effects of the illness include sustained abnormal alterations in thinking, mood, or behavior associated with distress and impaired functioning. 

The effects of mental illnesses include disruptions of daily function; incapacitating personal, social, and occupational impairment; and premature death. The most common mental illnesses in adults are anxiety and mood disorders.”

But that was only the beginning, the following statistics were also revealing: According to the World Health Organization, mental illness results in more disability in developed countries than any other group of illnesses, including cancer and heart disease. Other published studies report that about 25% of all U.S. adults have a mental illness and that nearly 50% of U.S. adults will develop at least one mental illness during their lifetime.

The CDC actively does surveillance of mental illness through a number of agencies also including law enforcement, population surveys and/or health care surveys.  

So if we take a hard look at just the statistics just mentioned you must assess that three out of four adults in the United States are suffering some form of mental illness.  Does that mean when I go to the local watering hole I’m drinking with crazy people?

Let’s not jump to conclusions.  Lets take a look at some more statistics: 

• According to the World Health Organization, mental illnesses account for more disability in developed countries than any other group of illnesses, including cancer and heart disease.

• Published studies report that about 25% of all U.S. adults have a mental illness and that nearly 50% of U.S. adults will develop at least one mental illness during their lifetime.

• Mental illness is associated with increased occurrence of chronic diseases such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, obesity, asthma, epilepsy, and cancer.

• Mental illness is associated with lower use of medical care, reduced adherence to treatment therapies for chronic diseases, and higher risks of adverse health outcomes.

• Mental illness is associated with use of tobacco products and abuse of alcohol.

• Rates for both intentional (e.g., homicide, suicide) and unintentional (e.g., motor vehicle) injuries are 2 to 6 times higher among people with a mental illness than in the population overall.

• Population-based surveys and surveillance systems provide much of the evidence needed to guide effective mental health promotion, mental illness prevention, and treatment programs.

• Monitoring mental illness is an important way to provide appropriate organizations the data they need to assess the need for mental and behavioral health services and to inform the provision of those services.

• Many mental illnesses can be managed successfully, and increasing access to and use of mental health treatment services could substantially reduce the associated morbidity.

• Many chronic illnesses are associated with mental illnesses, and it's been shown that treatment of mental illnesses associated with chronic diseases can reduce the effects of both and support better outcomes.

The U.S. Mental Illness Surveillance Report also notes the economic cost of mental illness in these United States was over 300 billion dollars in 2002.  In the years following 911, mental illness probably doesn’t cost any less now than it did then.  So what is the end of the matter, what is the conclusion?

Of course, it amounts to this; the CDC wants the government to monitor or do surveillance on a ‘national level’ on all forms of anxiety disorders.  

Why?  To get public health outlets adequate to the task of dealing with these disorders properly.  How right that is, or at least it sounds that way.  See your Doctor and leave the surveys alone.

Do you really trust your government to do something ‘right’, ‘noble’ or ‘proper’ when it comes to you and me?  What would the government really do with that kind of information?  

Very well then, just take your pills, drink your beer, sip your whiskey and shut the hell up.  Just don’t agitate each other.  God knows what kind of grief your fellow drinker is going through.

RJ

Cited Works and Articles:

http://www.cdc.gov/24-7/prevention/mental_illness/cdc_involved.html

http://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealthsurveillance/.

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-types-illness

World’s Oldest Profession by any other name; or is it?

World’s Oldest Profession by any other name; or is it?

This Blog Entry is Fictional but the content regarding Sexual Surrogates is Non-Fiction
               The images in this blog are graphic but do not contain depiction of sex acts. 


It was a rainy Thursday afternoon on a sidestreet bar in Cedarhurst when I caught up with Ruby working the day shift.  The bar was packed with old timers looking to warm their tired bones and relax their weary souls when I walked in.

 

An old Englishman I’ll call Todd was playing all kinds of 60’s and 70’s tunes on the jukebox and all souls were in a good mood trying to shake off the cares of the world for a couple of hours and enjoy good company, catch up on the local news, watch the horse races while sipping on a beer or a good bourbon.  All was well and familiar faces came in by the minute.

One of them was Milt, (see http://thehappeningz.blogspot.com/2009/07/infrared-ir-violations-are-you-victim.html) who I had not seen in at least a year and a half, maybe more.  Some of the old boys got on the topic of sexual dysfunction after one of the women in attendance (Cookie) said that Winton could not satisfy her if he actually had six inches of dick, “spaghetti don’t get that limp.”

Milt told Winton not to pay any attention to that because guys could get help for ‘that problem’ without going to an M.D.  “So what kind of help are you talking about Milt” said Winton with extreme skepticism and a hint of sarcasm.  “Well,” said Milt, “I went and saw a licensed sex therapist who referred me to a ‘sex surrogate’ and she straightened my flagpole out in a session or two.”

“What the fuck is a sex surrogate” barked Todd, as most conversations had stopped and all eyeballs where now on Milt.  “What, are all you people stuck in the 20^th Century?  A sex surrogate is somebody you visit or who visits you and  therapeutically addresses your sexual dysfunction by…how shall I say it…a hands on approach to the problem.”  Cookie asked, “And you pay for this service right?”

“Yeah, but it’s worth every penny” said Milt.  Cookie began her inquisition, “This so called sex surrogate Milt, does she have any kind of ‘Medical or Psychiatry certifications’?”  Well Cookie the state of New York, like most states have no ‘definition’ or regulations for ‘sexual surrogates’ so there are no laws regulating the profession” said Milt as he sipped on his scotch.

“The profession?” asked Todd, “sounds like some fancy assed prostitution ring to me.”  “Believe me Todd it’s a profession” declared Milt.  “No shit, the world’s oldest fucking profession” shouted Cookie as everybody burst into laughter and scorn, looking at Milt as some kind of freaking pervert. 

Milt continued his defense, “sex surrogates have been practicing in the United States and around the world for decades.  Know that people in other countries aren’t as closed minded or sociocentric as Americans are.  When they (foreigners) have problems with sexual function they get help.  Americans seem to be backward and ignorant about getting help in the ballroom when they need it.”

Out of curiosity and the need to take my mind off of my life, I asked Milt “what exactly do sex surrogates do that a well paid hooker or Dominatrix won’t or can’t do.”  Milt said, “well they have an association that gives you literature and written instructions to follow up on their ‘sessions’ and they report to your ‘sex therapist’ or ‘psychiatrist’ that referred them to check on your progress and see if the sexual dysfunction is mitigated or resolved.”

Todd’s mouth hung open as he listened to Milt’s explanation and he had to ask; “so these therapeutic hookers have an ‘association’…they got some kind of union that promotes standards or regulations…is that what your telling me there Milt?” “Oh Yeah” quipped Milt.  “What’s the name of this association,” asked Todd.  “It’s called ‘IPSA’ the International Professional Surrogate Association, said Milt.

Warren, who was in the bar with Mindy asked, “Do they have a phone number?”  Mindy responded by punching Warren in his nuts.  Milt looked at Warren turning several shades of color as the blood rushed in and out of his face and said, “right now you and Mindy could use some professional sexual help to get that thing working again.”  Mindy attempted to jump on Milt but was restrained by the crowd.  Ruby shouted, “everybody calm down.”

Milt said, “you can get phone numbers and referrals on their (IPSA) web site or on ‘Craig’s List’.”  I asked “So how is this ‘therapy’ working out for you Milt?” Milt grinned and said “real good.  The only Mr. Softee my woman talks about sells ice cream.”  Ruby said, “You got a woman, When?”  “If you must know right after the insurance company settled my late granddad’s estate.”  Ruby said, “I see.”

After leaving Ruby and the crowd I went home to check on how valid any of what Milt was talking about really is and was amazed to find the following information: There is an IPSA; Insurance doesn’t cover the price of ‘Sex Surrogates’ because there is no license to bill under; If you don’t have a sex partner a ‘Sex Surrogate’ can fill the void; Sex Surrogates usually work with ‘Sex Therapists’ who do have a professional license of some sort.

In an article from ‘New York Magazine’ called ‘Healing Hands’’ by Amy Sohn, Rita Bell, a real ‘Sex Surrogate’(OK) summed it up this way: “Surrogacy is much more cerebral than prostitution,” she says. “I have to figure out what the underlying issues are, and put the pieces together very quickly. 

These people don’t want to sit and talk. They want to get busy in the bedroom. If you take everything from psychotherapy and condense it and go into the bedroom, there’s another world there. If you are good at this and you are successful—which are not necessarily related—you have to be pretty smart.”

According to IPSA, quoting from their web site; “Surrogate Partner Therapy is available to male and female clients of all sexual orientations with surrogate partners of either gender. Some clients with issues of inexperience or negative body image, or with histories of trauma, may choose to work with a same-sex surrogate who participates as a role model rather than as an intimate partner.”

Let me know what you think about this.  Would you consider a ‘Sex Surrogate’ to help your known or unknown dysfunction?  Is there anyone you know who should consider the ‘services’ of a ‘Sex Surrogate’?  Once again I ask, let me know.

RJ

Citations and Resources: http://nymag.com/nymetro/nightlife/sex/columns/nakedcity/n_8542/, http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/05/06/the-mystery-behind-sex-surrogacy/, http://surrogatetherapy.org/fees-and-length-of-therapy/, and http://sexsurrogateofla.com/sex-surrogate-center/sex-surrogates-and-partners/.

At Last: Remembering Etta James

A young Etta James

Informational: Non-Fiction

At Last: Remembering Etta James

Jamesetta Hawkins was born on January 25^th, 1938 to Dorothy Hawkins, a “Miss Hip, jazz chick” and an unknown man.  No one knows who is for sure Jamesetta’s father is, but Jamesetta believes her father is Minnesota Fats.  Jamesetta was named for her Uncle James and her Aunt Cozetta.  ‘Aunt Cozie’ was her role model. She grew up inside the jazz culture, Jamesetta grew up with little but a fighting chance.

Jamesetta was raised by the woman who ran the boarding house her Uncle James and Aunt Cozie lived in, even after her teenage mother got out of reform school, Jamesetta had a strict upbringing by ‘Mama Lu’.  But even this couldn’t keep her from the streets in Los Angeles.  Jamesetta became a teenage junkie, but fate and her fighting spirit would not leave her a junkie.

Soul and Gospel Legend Sam Cooke

Jamesetta, from the age of five was raised going to Church, St. Paul Baptist Church on Naomi and 21^st in Los Angeles.  She was singing in the church choir from the age of five and was influenced by some of the greatest names in Gospel who went to or would come and sing at that Church, among them Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Sam Cooke and the Sallie Martin Singers.

Jamesetta was heavily influenced by Professor James Earle Hines, the choirmaster at St. Paul Baptist.  She wanted to sing like him, as she put it, with “spill-your-guts-out power”.  And it was that power that put an indelible mark on the souls who would hear Jamesetta sing.  After her Mama Lu died she started singing professionally and the world would know her as Etta James.

Etta James had her first hits in 1955 on the ‘Modern Records Label’ and later after many professional let downs and personal demons (she became a heroin addict) she rose to do a good many hits and go on tour in the early 60’s .  Etta recorded “At Last” written by Mac Gordon and Harry Warren for the Glen Miller Band.  Etta’s 1961 version of “At Last” is considered by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame an American Standard.

Even while undergoing some treatment for her addiction Etta James turned out a few hits in the 60’s and a critically acclaimed blues album called ‘Call My Name’ in 1966.  Even with these hits mainstream or ‘white’ America didn’t really know Etta James.  Etta’s fame was limited almost exclusively to the black community, but the rockers knew who she was, and they revered her.

Janis Joplin

Janis Joplin and Rolling Stones Keith Richards were listening to Etta James while she was playing dives and trying to tour on a small budget.  During the 60’s Etta lived at the Sutherland Hotel, with other struggling artists from the 60’s who made it big including Curtis Mayfield and Marvin Gaye.  


But Etta was in a nose dive, fighting Chess records who stole or withheld money she made off her hits.  The 70’s were bad for Etta.

After rehabilitation at the Tarzana Psychiatric Hospital in Tarzana, (just northwest of LA) she came back to recording with force.  Her career took off in the mid eighties and her music finally started to ‘cross over’ and she was now getting the gigs and the recognition she deserved.

Even though professionally, things got better for Etta she gained a lot of weight and her health was at risk.  In 2002, Etta James had gastric bypass surgery which Etta said, “saved her life”.  Etta James continued to record and has achieved many milestones:

Marvin Gaye

“Career: Singer, 1943–; toured with bandleader Johnny Otis, 1954-55; toured with a variety of performers, including Little Richard, Bo Diddley, Marvin Gaye; recording artist for a variety of companies, including Modern, 1955; Chess, 1960-75; Warner Brothers, 1978; Island, 1988-93; Private, 1994–; RCA, 2004–.

Awards: W. C. Handy Award, 1989; NAACP Image Award, 1990; Blues Society Hall of Fame, 1991; Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, 1993; Grammy Award, Best Jazz Vocal, 1995, for Mystery Lady; Blues Hall of Fame, 2001; Lifetime Achievement Award, Grammy, 2003; Grammy Award, Best Contemporary Blues Album, 2004, for Let's Roll; Grammy Award, Best Traditional Blues Album, 2005, for Blues to the Bone.

In 2003 James was honored with a lifetime achievement Grammy award, her own star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, as well as a Grammy for best contemporary blues album the next year for Let's Roll. 


James became especially inspired by Martin Scorsese's documentary The Blues, produced by PBS, and recorded a selection of traditional blues songs on her 2004 album Blues to the Bone, for which she won a Grammy in 2005.”

Etta James succumbed to Leukemia yesterday, January 20^th in Riverside, California.  We have to let Etta go in the flesh but she will be living forever as we and the coming generations rediscover one of the most soul searing voices in the history of recorded music.


RJ


Cited Works and Articles:

Read more: Etta James Biography - Selected works - Blues, Jamesetta, Chess, and Private - JRank Articles http://biography.jrank.org/pages/2752/James-Etta.html#ixzz1k6y0MnK8

Rage To Survive: the Etta James Story, by Etta James & David Ritz

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/21/arts/music/etta-james-singer-dies-at-73.html


http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/01/20/us-ettajames-idUSTRE80J1FC20120120

Friends With Benefits: Part 2

Informational: Non-Fiction

Part 2 based in part on the study “Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship” by Melissa A. Bisson & Timothy R. Levine in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, dated September 2007.”

You can pull this study down from the “Springer Web Site” and read it for yourself.  

Despite the name it is a very academic study with a lot of brainiacs making interpretations on their own data given the definitions they have assigned to certain acts, words or behaviors in their study.  But for me it boils down to this:

The reason why there is very little talk of relationship or ground rules in an ‘FWB’ arrangement is because if the people who know each other are “friends” they already have known boundaries that are quite understood to each of them.  Rules get laid down when each ‘friend’ has something to hide, something to protect or something to attack.  If you are a ‘friend’ you protect your ally status while submitting to the rules or making rules that are easily conformed to.

After reading the study I’ve come to the conclusion FWB relationships are very exciting because they don’t make emotional demands, don’t approach the scales of custom, religion or community.  

All of this can be discreetly hidden in the microcosms of culture and association necessary when interacting in the 21^st century.  

In other words ‘FWB’ arrangements are the perfect neo-epicurean stage to live your sex fantasies in a lucid and intoxicating reality.  Just don’t get emotionally involved, don’t fall in love.

So at its core what is a FWB relationship?  Consensual sexual submission for personal gratification alone would be fornication.  Is consensual sexual submission out of feelings of obligation or to effect living standards that are dependent or interdependent in your ‘FWB’ a kind of mutual prostitution?  And if the ground rules are set by the female is she a domme or servant?

If the ground rules are set by the male is he a ‘john’ , deviate, pimp or self imposed master?  What if none of this is the case?  What if this is a case of ‘friends’ just wanting to get off without any sociological, economic or emotional strings attached?  That’s about what is concluded by this study.

So, most ‘friends’ being monotheists (Christians, Muslims, or Jews) living in this kind of arrangement, don’t believe the weight of ‘sin’ applies since they are not in love, and there is not any binding strand to any personal emotion, FWB’s don’t see a problem with them and ‘God’ because body’s get dirty but souls go to heaven.  You can wash a body and get forgiven ‘if’ you did anything wrong.  Right?

The ‘Church’ (all of them - Catholic especially) labels this kind of living behind  ‘FWB’ thinking ‘gnosticism’ and it is a sin of grievous proportions which deserve an inquisition, burning at the stake and finally excommunication.  And the reason is obvious.  If everyone is getting off without procreating (having babies) the church and the community will die off.  Control the context of relationships, control the community.  Ask your Government.

Should we condemn FWB arrangements or celebrate them?  Well, ‘we’ must put our perspective into context.  If you have an FWB arrangement you may not want to be condemned or burst into celebration.  

What is at the core of the FWB arrangement is a kind of danger and excitement that has existed in humankind in all cultures on this planet.  We don’t want our feelings hurt, we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

But we do want to be ‘satisfied’ we do want passion, pleasure and even pursuit but we don’t want baggage, judgment or shame.  Should society accept this kind of living between ‘friends’?  Even if society does not accept it, the FWB arrangement in its many forms will go on as it has gone on for at least 25 centuries.  The FWB arrangement will be as real and clandestine as smoking grass, snorting coke or drinking.

I close with a quote and a maxim.  Voltaire said, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.”  In this life, I took this saying to a maxim (a maxim is a life or discipline principal) due to having to make a choice to live or to kill off my family, then my friends.  So by this maxim based on Voltaire, I leave you with this thought in weighing the FWB arrangement on any scale you choose:

“I may not agree with how you choose to live; I may despise, even hate how you choose to live, but I will always as I have before, defend your right to live that way even in the face of death.”  

As Americans we have the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” as outlined in the Declaration of Independence. 

How you live this life, exercise this liberty and chase your happiness is totally up to you.  If you have ‘friends’ your already reaping the benefits.  If you have friends and live in America you have every reason to wake up with a grin.

However you choose to see the issue, you'll figure it out!

RJ

Places To Watch The Playoffs and the Superbowl

 Informational:Non-Fiction

Generally I don’t blog on the fly but today I must.  I know that the playoffs are in their final stage and everybody wants to go somewhere to have good fun, watch the game and enjoy good food with friends and fellow fans.  

The following locations below are my picks.   I’m no critic, I just know what I like because my comfort is the most important thing when I’m spending my money to be somewhere on Long Islands South Shore.

So Here You Go:

Charlie Meaneys Restaurant

52 Central Ct, Valley Stream, NY 11580-1143

(516) 596-2337 ‎

Murph's Restaurant and Bar

935 Hempstead Turnpike, Franklin Square, NY 11010-3626

+1 516-358-0548  358-0548 ‎

Bronko's

1177 Grand Avenue, Baldwin, NY 11510-1115

(516) 538-8880 ‎

Jeremy's Ale House East

239 Woodcleft Avenue, Freeport, NY 11520-6337

(516) 623-0204 ‎

Game On Bar & Grill 

195 East Merrick Road, Valley Stream, NY 11580-5900

(516) 233-1627 ‎

I must mention that when I Googled Game On it was listed as 'permanently closed'  and it isn't....at least it wasn't yesterday.  

So I called the Owner via the Bartender to find out if the Google listing was in error and it definitely was.

Game On is a neighborhood bar and grill that has been around for several years.  They moved to the Merrick Road location about three years ago on Superbowl Sunday.  This bar is located across from the Valbrook Diner and almost next door to Guys & Dolls Billiards.  

This establishment is a nice place to watch a game, listen to music or shoot pool in (bar supports a team in the Long Island Pool League).  This bar has a patronage from 21-88 years of age.  This establishment supports and acknowledges Veterans of the United States Armed Forces and makes the bar available for Veteran's events.  

Its not fancy but it is comfortable.

For those on the South Shore of Long Island this weekend these are some places I know good folks go to have a good time.   Have Fun.

The New Censorship and your Congressperson.

Editorial: 

Non-Fiction-Urgent

The New Censorship and your Congressperson.

SOPA, the Stop Online Piracy Act and PIPA the so called Protect IP Act are new attempts at not only attacking online piracy which sounds noble, but an attempt at tracking, blacklisting and storing information on internet users who frequent web sites the ‘state’ believes are either deviate, dangerous or anti-government.  The websites below will give you all the information you need to know – that is, the truth; something which the government seems to withhold on a regular basis.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203735304577167261853938938.html?mod=googlenews_wsj , http://news.cnet.com/8301-31921_3-57329001-281/how-sopa-would-affect-you-faq/?tag=mncol;txt and http://mashable.com/2012/01/18/pipa-sopa-abandon-bill/.

Even before 911 there was a concerted effort by both corporations and certain people in government to attempt to regulate the internet.  Both State and the Federal Government have passed laws going back to 1996 to stop certain scams and other bad things happening online.  But when the Government got involved it didn’t want to protect the citizen, it sought power to ‘regulate’ the internet as was allegedly in the interest of the government.

The alphabet soup of Federal Agencies all rang in with new “regulations” , the Department of Commerce – National Telecommunications and Information Administration, the FDA, the FCC, the FTC, SEC to name just a few of the agencies not including at least 35 states that are looking to pass laws that infringe on the rights of citizens and content providers.

The 112^th Congress, is a deviate, duplicitous, body of elected officials that have done nothing for the people of the United States.  Some bought off Congressmen are attempting to push a law through Congress that attempts to censor the internet.

These Congresspersons are legislative prostitutes for their corporate masters to make laws that subjugate, not protect the citizens that elected them.  They are an embarrassment to this nation.

It is bad enough that your government has set up secret installations and a number of FEMA camps for an ‘emergency’ or ‘catastrophe’ that they ‘your Government’ will not elaborate on.  

It is bad enough that anyone who gets labeled a ‘terrorist’ or ‘enemy’ can be whisked away to God knows where and get waterboarded, humiliated or abused in any way the government sees fit to get ‘information’ .

Please don’t believe what I say because I say it read the whole law for yourself and you explain what it means. [reference the USA PATRIOIT ACT H.R. 3162, SEC. 202. AUTHORITY TO INTERCEPT WIRE, ORAL, AND ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATIONS RELATING TO COMPUTER FRAUD AND ABUSE OFFENSES;

Section 2516(1)(c) of title 18, United States Code, is amended by striking `and section 1341 (relating to mail fraud),' and inserting `section 1341 (relating to mail fraud), a felony violation of section 1030 (relating to computer fraud and abuse),'.]

What you had better realize is that the Congress, people that you and I have elected have been bought and paid for by Lobbyists representing the whole range of American Business and the Individual Super-wealthy (Multi-Billionaires).  These interests have turned your Congressperson into a paid minion, this congress has prostituted and bastardized the purpose for their being elected, that is, representing the people and defending the Constitution of the United States.

You had better write your Congressperson or call their office in either your district or in Washington D.C.  If you don’t many blogs and bloggers will find themselves somewhere in one of those FEMA Emergency Camps screaming in the darkness being ‘chastised’ by their government without benefit of a lawyer or a clergyman.

Are you afraid of your Government?  Do you want to be?  The Internet was created for the day of destruction so anyone, anywhere with a computer could communicate with anyone anywhere else with a computer.  Do you think the government could control this?   Let me know.

RJ 

Friends With Benefits: Part 1

Informational: Non-Fiction

(Characters have been fictionalized, names and genders changed to protect innocent from persecution and guilty from prosecution)

I talked to a friend who lives in Fort Lee, NJ. For the sake of this blog entry I’ll call her ‘Sal’.

Sal is in her 40’s and has three bartending gigs, one on the weekdays (Tuesday – Thursday), one on Friday at a really busy hot spot in the Bronx and another in Manhattan on Saturday Night.

Sal ain’t bad looking for a farm girl from Pennsylvania who can milk cows, plow fields, drive a tractor and muck stables.

To get by Sal had to make ‘compromises’ and changes in her life and living to survive in the current urban landscape that surrounds New York City. Sal met a lady, we’ll call her ‘Eva’ who is an uptown girl from a well off family who owns a building or two around Columbia University.

Eva was disowned by her family because she found a male friend, Marc a well educated, powerfully built Latin man who really ‘liked’ Eva but didn’t want marriage, kids or baggage.

Sal has a really nice apartment with a magnificent view of Manhattan and she occasionally has parties during the dead days between winter and summer with close friends and the part of her family that has accepted her “life style”. Sal had a good life until she lost her job working at the World Trade Center back in 2001. After that her company let her go in 2005.

Sal and Eva had a long talk on a slow night during her weekday gig at a neighborhood bar and grille just outside of Fort Lee, in Edgewater, somewhere near River Road. Sal needed a roommate and health insurance, Eva needed to stay close to the city, she’s an executive for a major health care provider. Eva wanted an ‘open minded friend’ to refine her BDSM fetish practice.

Sal and Eva kind of worked out a ‘deal’. Sal wanted male companionship, but not from her patrons, and not from one night stands, Sal wanted a steady cock with no strings, no promises, no bullshit. Just a hard cock to get off when she wanted, but she was paranoid about STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) and wanted a faithful hard dick with a good body and no drama.

A week later, Sal, Eva and Marc worked out their ‘arrangement’. Eva got Sal both medical and life insurance in return for a place to stay.

Sal also gets Marc pretty much on demand (Marc does what he is told and loves it…not all sex slaves are female). Sal has committed to a unilateral BDSM relationship at least twice a month with Eva. Marc gets an occasional crash pad and sex as a submissive male.

This ‘arrangement’ has been going on for about three years. It hasn’t changed much and although it is dynamic in that all those involved have modified some things, all are satisfied with what they have worked out. This kind of thing goes on more often than not and especially with college students and college graduates. There is a name for this phenomenon called ‘Friends With Benefits’ or FWB.

Not all FWB relationships are this ‘detailed’ or structured. But this phenomenon has been going on since the 60’s but has caught on big time during the post 911 years. But this kind of relationship actually finds its roots in early modern history, particularly Rome. This kind of relationship or living was called ‘epicureanism’ that is a life without pain or emotional distress; a life of pleasures sought for the mind and the body.

So pursuing this topic away from what’s been in movies or on talk radio is the best way to see this from a kind of ‘clinical’ point of view in a real world context. I found a very formal study done on the topic “Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship” by Melissa A. Bisson & Timothy R. Levine in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, dated September 2007. (Yeah, I read all kinds of stuff)

I read the study twice to make sure I understood it. What it boils down to is what to not expect in a FWB relationship and how not to get your emotions involved in FWB relationship. I know this begs so many different questions it’s absolutely mind-blowing (forgive the pun). So to start, I will quote from the study. This will blog will have several parts in a series so not to overwhelm your limited attention span.

Quoting the study, “FWB combines the psychological intimacy of a friendship with the sexual intimacy of a romantic relationship while avoiding the ‘‘romantic’’ label (Hughes et al., 2005;Mongeau et al., 2003).

Sexual activity with a friend distinguishes FWB from both ‘‘hook-ups’’ characterized by a single occurrence of sex between people who are acquaintances or strangers without the expectation of developing a relationship (Paul & Hayes, 2002; Paul, McManus,&Hayes, 2000) and traditional romantic relationships.

Labeling FWB as a friendship is consistent with the fact that these individuals are not romantically committed and do not share a romantic love for one another. But, consistent with romantic relationships, these people engaged in repeated sexual activity, which has traditionally been linked to a romantic relationship but not friendships.

Discussion

About half of the participants indicated that questions arose in their FWB relationship, and these questions involved uncertainty about what to call the relationship, the future of the relationship, and how to negotiate changes in feelings.

Despite these uncertainties, however, participants reported little talk about the state of the relationship. Almost 85% indicated that no relationship talk was initiated and 73% indicated no discussion of relationship ground rules.

Of the relatively few participants who explicitly established ground rules, the most prevalent theme involved third party concerns related to disclosing the relationship to others and establishing that they, unlike exclusively dating couples, were allowed to see other people. Specific strategies involved seeking compromise and arguing for one’s own desired outcome.

No significant sex differences in communication patterns were found, possibly due to the low frequency talk about the state and future of the relationship. While previous research has also reported that taboo topics are prevalent in relationships, the current findings suggest that this is especially true for FWB relationships.”

What does all this mean?

That the pursuit of a mate is no longer the purpose of sexual behavior? Are persons in an FWB relationship in it only to use one another?

What ‘taboos’ are this study hinting about?

Do these ‘taboos’ involve race, sexual practices, same sex relationships, or other deviant behavior?

What does this matter and how does it affect American society structures?

Yeah, heavy duty stuff for recreational and opportunistic sex hunters aint it?

Part 2 will deal with some of the above. See you later.

RJ

GIANTS AT GREEN BAY: Is It Déjà vu All Over Again?

I make this blog entry on the eve of the Giants at Green Bay playoff game on January 15, 2012.

Why bring this up?

Its a 'happening' event that has bookies, barmaids, fanatics, panderers, pimps and profiteers lining up figuring out how to turn a buck.

Below I have ‘reposted’ excerpts from a blog entry from ‘1762 Broadway’. Enjoy, if you have any comments feel free to leave them by clicking on ‘comments’ at the bottom of this post.

This is very reminiscent of a Giant game back on January 20, 2007.Then there are the average every day worn out, burnt out, New York fan who is just happy that the Giants got this far with what they have. Oh, by the way the Patriots are playing the Broncos in Foxborough, Massachusetts.

From "Giants Sunday: Vindication"

It was Sunday, January 20th, I was at the ancient dive and of course Yaega Lee was struggling to get the place cleaned up while serving customers. I got there at the end of the Patriots vs Chargers and was totally pissed at the outcome. Another football teamed cowed into submission by Bellichick’s shell game and snowed into belief by the hype.

It was a good day, Cho, ERL, Shmack and his dog along with Devilyn, the Ranger Fan and his old lady had seats at the bar. A new face I haven’t seen before, Adan from Ireland was discussing the nightlife in England when Biker Bob showed up. We talked for a long while as I tried to get comfortable.

Chucky showed up for a quick minuet and disappeared with a threat to return later. Cary came in at the end of the Chargers loss and tossed down a couple before he moved on. Well, there was the munchies that Yaega bought before the game that was nice to have with Guiness. As Rhoda relieved Yaega the Giants were facing Green Bay, I settled in as best I could.

No evening at the dive could begin without a little drama, Evie did her best to demean and humiliate ERL. I felt bad for him, all kinds of scandal about the way she acts and why she looks for dates while her man is in the dive with her. Pimp showed up and was classic Pimp. No hot food was in the dive but he bought two large Pizza’s for us in attendance.

Belli-Kiss said, “No one can disagree with me, Bellichick is the greatest coach of all time.” I looked at M.F. (Met Fan) and did not respond to the sound of senseless bullshit. Belli-Kiss gives me a shove to the back which pissed me off and annoyed me, I asked him not to do that again. “You agree right, Bellichick is the greatest coach of all time.” I quickly answered, “No!” and returned to viewing the game.Met Fan showed up with Belli-Kiss, the Patriot Fan who was an old friend of his. Timmy showed up also and he and Biker Bob were talking to Yaega. Rhoda was now getting things rolling real well and I was in a semi-relaxed mind frame. Belli-Kiss started talking about how great the Patriots were as the Giants made a nice defensive stop on Green Bay in the second quarter.

To make that statement, Bellichick is the greatest coach of all time, you got to have your head up your ass.

“Hey, Belli-Kiss, we’re watching the Giants not the Patriots, stop the nonsense” said M.F. When halftime came around Belli-Kiss tried to get everybody in the bar to agree with him, so he bugged me again. I told him to leave me alone.. “Why isn’t Bellichick the Greatest Football Coach of all Time?”

Belli-Kiss started sucking air, “WHAT, REALLY?” Then he said “yeah”, I said yeah. Now Rhoda put the game on all the T.V.’s in the bar area. Belli-Kiss realizing “we” now have an audience said, “What makes you say Bellichick isn’t the greatest Football Coach of all Time?

I appealed to M.F. and all the gentleman in local earshot for three minuets of uninterrupted time since Belli-Kiss had all night to bow to his new master and sing his praises.

Have you seen what he’s done? Aggravated to the point of leaving, I said, “anyone with a minimal familiarity with football wouldn’t ask that stupid question.”

I was told to go ahead so I did, "Bellichick is not Chuck Noll who won 4 Superbowls and is not considered the best coach of all time, Tom Landry won 5 NFC Titles, created the 4-3 defense, brought back the shotgun offense and won Two Superbowls, he is not the greatest coach of all time. Papa Bear Halas has the highest winning percentage of any coach before the NFC and AFC merged, he’s not the greatest coach of all time. "

I quickly continued as Belli-Kiss choked on his beer. "Bellichick is no Bill Walsh who created the west coast offense and won 3 Superbowls, also trained several coaches who went to the Superbowl, he's not the greatest coach.

Bellichick sure aint no Jimmy Johnson who rebuilt the Dallas Cowboys and left a team that won a third Superbowl without him after he left with two Superbowl rings or a Tom Flores who had to fight his owner to put the Oakland Raiders in the Superbowl twice on his watch.

Their not the greatest of all time." “But wait a minute, your going back to the old days” screamed Belli-Kiss. “You said of ‘all time’ and I’m not finished. M.F. said, “go ahead” RJ.

“Bill Parcells went to the Superbowl 3 times with two teams and came back with two rings, rebuilding the Patriot organization that Bellichick inherited. Joe Gibbs went to the Superbowl 4 times winning 3 rings, making history by bringing in Doug Williams, breaking the black quarterback stereotype.”

Belli-Kiss shouted out “yeah but Bellichick has the perfect season.” I’m not finished I said as M.F. asked me to hold that thought. We all then watched Brandon Jacobs make that one yard run into the end zone as the fog of his freezing breath rose from the tundra. I said, “now to finish my point…Bellichick has not had the perfect season, he would be behind Don Shula, the only coach who does have a perfect season.” Chucky had returned and had nodded in agreement.

Belli-Kiss said, “yeah but you watch, when the Patriots win the Superbowl they will have the perfect season…when they beat Green Bay in the Superbowl.” M.F. shouted “HEY, HEY, WE’RE ROOTING FOR THE GIANTS HERE! Green Bay hasn’t won shit yet.” “Yeah but I still think Bellichick is the greatest coach of all time” shouted Belli-Kiss. I said, can I finish with one last point. “LIKE WHAT” said Belli-Kiss.

“The Superbowl trophy has a name inscribed on it and its called something, what do they call it?” My brow was squinted in extreme disgust because I was attempting to speak logically to a fool, and I should have known better. Belli-Kiss answered, “YEAH, it’s the Superbowl Trophy” they call it the….” M.F. and a few others said, “”THE LOMBARDI TROPHY”. “That’s my point, Lombardi is the greatest coach in NFL History, there is no Bellichick trophy.”

Belli-Kiss left right after the Giants beat Green Bay. If the Giants were half as pissed as I was when they faced the Patriots on Sunday it accounted for the fuel of one of the greatest upsets in NFL History.

Anger is one hell of a motivation, persistence is the result of anger turned to purpose. I wasn’t going back to the ancient dive any time soon for a lot of reasons.

Now it is five years later and many of the old variables have reappeared at the fading of this Hunters Moon just past. Can Pierre-Paul be the leader Michael Strahan was …bringing the kind of glory the Giants had in 2008 at the Superbowl? Can an older and more seasoned Eli Manning beat Favre’s protégé…a dynamic Aaron Rodgers?

In the words of Terrell Owens, "Get your popcorn ready."

RJ